Eilian and Margaret Song
by Ending-Daley
Summary: A series of drabbles, penned by myself about Eleven and River's daughter, Eilian. Featuring whatever hits my head in no particular order - will be stated at the start of each chapter.
1. Daughters

Daughters

The Doctor and River introduce their daughter to her new baby sister.

Eilian - 4 years-old.

* * *

He watched on with trembling hands, his hearts beating radically. They had been there for close to fourteen hours and both could agree that they were as exhausted as the other, although the woman would think she had more to be tired over than he.

His hands were shaking and he supposed that they really had never stopped since she first told him. It was shock that started the shakes at first, worry and panic fuelling it on over the months but it all melted away giving into awe and admiration when she was placed into his shaking arms. They had been granted a brave miracle years ago and he thought that would have been enough, four years down the track and they were granted with another.

He had been scared – completely terrified, if he was honest. Although he tried not to let it show, hence the occurrence of the trembles. But that worry was gone now, replaced with a familiar tenderness that had only been reignited some years ago and now had settled warmly in his breast.

It was so quiet in their little room, nothing but the sounds of his wife's gentle breathing and his hand's rhythmic patting against firm fabric. He could not wipe his goofy smile off his face as he looked down at the miniature little being in his arms, all ten fingers and ten toes with a button nose to match.

A daughter. He had a daughter, another one to be exact.

He had children on Gallifrey but they were long gone now, never once forgotten about. A hole still burnt right through him with their absence. But he had another daughter, he and River had an eldest, a chance to move on. She was only four and highly suspicious of everything, her blond curls were as erratic as her mothers and her eyes impossibly wide. She was a wonder in every aspect of the word, extraordinary in every way.

He feared for her. He feared for them all and his inability to be able to protect them. There was a whole universe of danger out there waiting and his daughters were only children. They knew of nothing of it yet.

He had left his daughter that morning sound asleep in her own bed on the TARDIS when his wife's waters had broken her great grandfather, Brian watching her as heavily as he could without being overbearing towards the unawares child. He could not bear to wake her, not when he knew of the difficulties surrounding her birth and the chances of it happening a second time around. He could not risk it, not again and not with this daughter present.

He was drawn from his daydream when he heard little foot falls in the hall. They sounded like a child's Chuck Taylors slapping against titled floor. He felt excitement bubble up in him, although he had managed to resemble some form of adult for the past fourteen hours just the thought of his daughter's arrival was quickly melting it all away.

The newborn mewled in his arms as the door creaked open and his wife shifted in her sleep. River Song had always been a deep sleeper, but where her daughter was concerned that woman heard every little noise. Her eyes fluttered and the baby let out a louder whine. He moved to soothe his wife, knowing that it was unnecessary that she woke for Eilian's arrival, with the help of Brian he was sure that they could manage first introductions on their own.

The Doctor could not help his beam when the miniaturized version of his wife walked through the door, her curls pinned back behind her ears to the best of her failed ability. She looked scared as her eyes searched the room. She visibly relaxed when her eyes locked with his and picked up her pace. She slowed at the sound of the newborn's grizzle, her steps becoming cautious as her little hand reached up to run along the bottom of her mother's bed. "Hey," He whispered beaming at the child whose confidence was faltering in front of him. Eilian held tight to the end of the hospital bed unsure of what was waiting for her in her father's arms. "Come meet your baby sister." He whispered to her.

Shifting on the sofa The Doctor made space for his eldest daughter to climb up beside him. Seeing the open space Eilian made for it, her limbs as out of place as her father's. Her shyness melted as she climbed up beside her father, her young mind putting the pieces together. Eilian sat up on her knees, her little hands pressed to his arm in order for her to curiously peer over the baby in his arms. "Hello baby." He had forgotten in the space of fourteen hours how much her voice sounded like honey, how sweet and innocent it was. He had forgotten how much he loved to hear her talk. "She's like a dolly." The girl grinned, her head tilting to look up at her father, her nose inches from his cheek.

The baby sneezed as her sister's blond curls tickled her nose. Eilian's face jumped, her little mouth agape in shock. She giggled as she turned her attention back to the baby and allowed for her small hand to reach out and stroke the infant's cheek. "Do you like her?" He asked softly, his cheek resting softly on the top of her head. The girl nodded, transfixed with the baby. "You were this big once, Eli." The girl sat back on her knees as to look up at her father in disbelief. He nodded honestly, his movements more careful than his usual childish flamboyance. "I would you like this while mummy was sleeping and just stare at you." Eli tucked herself into his side, her hand resting on top of the bundle of blankets contently.

"Um," She started. "When is mummy going to be awake?" Eilian had turned her head up to look at her father, her mouth open enough to resemble an over-exaggerated boredom. Her question was answered by a throaty chuckle and the familiar but tired tagline of 'Hello Sweetie'. "Mummy!" The girl burst with excitement causing the baby in her father's arms to jump. "Look what I got, it's a baby." She told her, as though her mother had not walked her through every step of her pregnancy and her sister had just been bought in a shop.

River laughed quietly again as Eli turned her attention back to the small bundle. A moment later she looked up at her father curiously and asked if it was her mother's turn to hold the baby. The Doctor stood on shaky legs as he expertly handed the infant over. One child out of his arms he scooped Eli up and threw her up in the air before clutching her tightly to his chest. He squeezed her for extra measure loving the squeak she made as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"We still need to give her a name." The Doctor addressed as he watched his wife hold their daughter. He made the suggestion but he had no idea, it was hard enough naming Eli when she was born. Now they had to think of another one.

He held Eli to his hip, rocking ever so slightly – a habit that had come back up again when she was born – while he watched River fondly. The baby in her arms was tiny. The nurse had said something about weighing five pounds, she had a mass of dark hair on the top of her head and his pale skin. She was going to look like his regeneration. Watching River, The Doctor could see that she was stuck in the same thought. Whatever they settled on, this little child was to be stuck with it for the rest of her long life.

"I can't think of anything." River muttered her left hand gripped tightly by a small fist. "The first time I held Eilian I knew exactly what to call her." The Doctor lowered a now squirming Eli to her mother's bed. He remembered the day his little girl was born and how he had panicked over names, they couldn't agree on one for months. But the minute River woke and was handed her daughter, now with strong signs of pushing through her weak state and living she just knew. River had looked up at him, tears in her eyes and impossibly tiny child in her arms. 'Eilian Marie' had been whispered and it sounded like a song.

Eli, nonchalant about her parent's speaking her name had crawled over to her mother's lap. Reaching the baby she bent down and pressed her cheek to the infant's forehead. She signed loudly, her parents watching on silently.

Eli sighed again, softer this time as her parents tried their best not to move not wanting to break whatever moment she was in, The Doctor although could not help whispering for her to be gentle with the baby. Shifting Eilian pressed a kiss to her sister's tiny forehead causing her to gurgle softly. "I'm going to call her Margo." She announced, sitting back on the back of her legs.

"Margo?" River repeated. "I assume short for Margaret." The girl shrugged and then nodded. She had decided and had not really cared for the extended version her parents would choose.

The Doctor sat on the edge of his wife's bed, watching as the little girl treated her new sister fondly. "Why hello Margaret Song, you are very loved." He bopped the baby's nose as fondly as he did it to both his wife and eldest daughter before pressing a loving admiration filled kiss to River's lips. "She has a name?" He whispered, unsure if River had ran it through her mind enough to agree yet. She nodded softly, kissing him once more.

"She has a name." River whispered back, her eyes alight.

"We have another daughter." His words were full of awe and so were hers when she repeated his words again. They stopped a moment, the two of them, allowing themselves to breathe it all in as Eilian proceeded to tell Margo about their home on Earth and the room she had helped her mother paint just for her.

"You're going to leave again." River whispered, her voice far off and her eyes never moving from the little girls beside her. The Doctor swallowed, hard. It was true, he would leave but they both had agreed the TARDIS was no place for children. Not all of the time. Both girls had their own space there and they always would, but he refused to let them live there full time, as did River. It was an agreement and upon that a house was bought and River took up a steady part time teaching job at the Luna University. They agreed that it would work, and it was. She just didn't want him to go so soon, knowing of the possibility that the next time she saw him he would know her a little less.

Someone tapped on the door lightly then pushed it open enough to slip in. "Is it my turn to meet her now? Those cat nurses are starting up my allergies." Brian Williams snuck in, his smile wide as he looked at the little family The Doctor and River's tension lost for the moment, but not completely gone.

The truth was, she was right. At the end of it all he would drop them off home, spend a few days with his daughters and wife and then leave. He wouldn't be alone out there in the universe anymore and he was no longer a man with nothing to lose. He had something to fight for, a reason to go on – two courageous daughters and a dangerous wife. He had to keep the universe intact for them.

Just for his girls.

More specifically, his daughters.

* * *

_First published Doctor Who fic, feedback would be greatly appreciated. _


	2. Night Guard Williams

Night Guard Williams 

Brian William's babysits his great granddaughter.

Eilian - 3 years-old.

_This chapter would have happened before 'Daughters'_

* * *

He almost tripped over a Barbie car when he stumbled down the hall to the sound of a screaming child. Righting himself with one hand against the wall and the other rubbing at his eyes Brian William's concluded that he was fair too old for this. The house was still unfamiliar to his tired feet, especially in the dark with toys scattered about like planted bombs. He cursed the child's ability to make a mess right before bed and his own forgetfulness towards picking it up.

Pushing the door open to the dimly lit room with projected stars littering the ceiling, Brian found the source of the child's screams. Even in the dark he could see her dirty blond waves that fought being tight curls sit lazily against her shoulders, it was the only feature of hers that he could distinguish in the dark even though he had previously committed her looks to his memory. He could see enough of her silhouette to tell that she was standing on top of the bedcovers on her new 'big girl' bed.

Eilian's cries softened when she saw Brian in the doorway, her little arms reaching out for the man her hands clasping and unclasping. "Pops." She whimpered reaching for him further but refusing to step off the bed, her own little feet tangled in her blankets. "Poppy." She cried a little harder as her little body started to shake and her great grandfather had been yet to reach her as he stepped around the things on her floor.

"I've got you." He whispered as he lifted her light weight into his arms, one arm under her knees and the other hand holding the back of her head. She shook, violently, cold sweat clamming her skin. "I've got you, poppet." He let his hand stroke her back as her cries continued and his hips swayed hoping that the motion might put her to sleep but also a partial habit from when his own son had been a little boy.

The girl relaxed, her blond curls stroking his cheek as she pulled her head back to look at him with watery green eyes. With a chubby hand on his cheek Eilian looked at her grandfather like he had saved her from being eaten alive. "I don't like the dark." She muttered around a quivering lip. "I want my daddy?" It wasn't a statement when her brow knitted, it was a question. Brian felt his heart collapse at her words; this child lived a life of not knowing if she could see her father purely because The Doctor's visits were never scheduled ones.

Eli was lucky tonight, her father had promised to return with River during some part of the early morning and due to the woman being the child's mother – and also co-piloting the man's TARDIS – they would be home on time. "He's out with mummy, Eli. You know that." She nodded, a chubby fist pressed to her mouth and her arm awkwardly rubbing at the tears on her cheek. "Sorry, but you're stuck with me." He shrugged as his hand gripped at her side, forcing a soft giggle. "What's wrong?" He asked, finding it peculiar that a child such as his great granddaughter was scared of the dark.

"There's a monster in my closet." She offered behind her left arm, her right hand free and pointing at the closet. He chuckled softly as he carried her back to the edge of her bed and tucked her back under the covers. Eli shifted a bit, uncomfortable with the thought of being left alone. But Brian was watching out for her, he wasn't just tucking her in and walking away, he was walking towards the closet, his hands fishing in his jumper pocket for a flashlight.

"Always prepared." He told the girl with a smile as he shook the flashlight before turning it on. With a click, her bedroom was partially filled with light, its main focus centred on the white doors that belonged to her closet. She pushed the bedcovers off her legs and crawled to the end of the bed, allowing her chin to sit on the wood there while she watched with scared curiosity.

Brian reached for the handle and tugged on it sharply. The girl squawked at the movement, her little arms throwing her blanket back over her head allowing herself to cower under the covers while her pops chuckled by the closet. "It's safe, poppet." He told her, as he pulled the blanket off her head, the static causing her hair to stick out all over the place. "Nothing's there."

"Is it under the bed?" She asked her arms trembling as he took a curious glance at the open closet door, the only thing inside being her clothes.

Crouching down on all fours Brian checked under the bed at his granddaughter's request. Resurfacing with his elbows on her mattress Brian shook his head. Noting that the girl was still shaking he asked her again what was wrong.

"I dreamed bad things." She told him in a three-year-old mutter. "There was monsters in my closet and they took my daddy away. That's not nice." She wiped at her face, new tears slipping silently down her cheeks.

Standing Brian scooped the girl up into his arms before he settled in the rocking chair adjacent to her bed. "You're right, it's not nice." He tapped her nose fondly, causing the child to snuggle further into his arms like a cat seeking warmth.

He had to admire how small and delicate she looked and for now how small and delicate she actually was. One day Eilian would realize she had more power than she once thought, but for now she was girl who spent the weekends at the park with her mother or her grandparents, she played with children she didn't realize she was smarter than and lived innocently, warming the hearts of those around her. She didn't quite understand that all of time and space was waiting for her adventures and her father was waiting for the day he could lock her away from them in order to keep her safe, but he already had. She lived in a normal house on a normal street and to anyone she was as normal as the rest of them, her mother a little on the eccentric side but that was just a formality. Nothing would tame River Song completely, not even her little girl. "I don't think you need to worry, Eilian. Your dad would move mountains to make sure he was with you." It was a big thing to say, but he meant it. And in three years Brian knew it was true.

"But daddy's not here lots. It makes mummy sad sometimes." Brian nodded, she had a point. There had been numerous times The Doctor should have been there, hell, he should be there every second of every day. But he couldn't, he and River knew that the minute it settled in that she was pregnant. Sacrifices had to be made, she found a house in boring old Leadworth close to both of her grandparents and a university that was willing to take the credentials her husband's psychic paper provided for her. She agreed to minimize her trips and not get into an extremely dangerous amount of trouble – which at first had been hard. But when her own blood stained her newborn daughter's clothes she realized that danger and adventure was perhaps not the smartest idea.

River Song wasn't the same without her shenanigans. She was softer, still as cheeky but a little less rough. She showed her vulnerable side more than she liked to admit, but Brian assumed that had come with the emotional exhaustion of raising a child. River Song had changed and The Doctor, he was still The Doctor. She gave up so much and he gave up so little. Although, Brian had seen the man's leaving as giving up everything. He couldn't settle down, he could not raise his daughter. He wasn't that kind of man and it visibly pained him to acknowledge that. Either way, his daughter still doted on him like he hung the moon for her and he treated her as though she was his inspiration.

"Now, your mother probably tells these stories better. But your father is a brave man, a very smart man and even though he acts sometimes like he has nothing to lose, he has everything to lose. But he fights so hard to protect those he loves and Eli, you are at the very, very top of that list." He squeezed her for emphasis. "He doesn't want to make you and your mother sad. But he has to go away and sometimes he can't come back, but he does and no monsters in your closet will change that."

"You sure?" She asked, her eye lids drooping as Brian continued to rock. He nodded, as he stoked her hair and stood up. Tucking the sleeping girl back into her bed he worried about her only for a moment before she mumbled through her sleep. "You stay with me great pops? Case the monsters come back?" Brian smiled as he pressed a kiss to Eilian's forehead and swept her hair off her face.

"Oh definitely, poppet. I'm special night guard Williams. You've got the first and the very best in the trade." She was out like a light within a second, her monsters for the night chased away and her night guard on standby back in the rocking chair.

[…]

When Brian woke his neck was slumped in an awkward position the beginning of an awful cramp starting to settle in. Eyes adjusting to the morning light Brian registered that his three-year-old charge was gone. He wasn't worried though, he could hear her giggles paired with her parent's chatter on the floor below. Pulling himself out of the rocking chair Brian Williams stretched his old bones listening contently as they cracked. He was at the top of the stairs when he heard The Doctor's voice call out;

'Time to wake the night guard!' followed by Eilian's loud giggle and River's warning to be nice.

Eilian's disappointed sigh was enough to make the older man laugh when he caught sight of her deflated frown and slumped posture on top of her father's shoulders. She was three and as intelligent as the girl may be her attention changed quicker than light itself, Brian was just waiting for it. Her face grew, smile radiant as Eilian straightened her posture. "Look what I gots, Pops!" She bopped on her father's shoulders, her hands holding onto his hair tightly. "My daddy's home!" The Doctor beamed, as he always did when his daughter decorated him with the title. "We made breakfast, come look." She waved her arm in the air and tugged at her father's hair, the man her personal and willing pony.

"Good morning, Brian." River greeted with a friendly smile as she caught the man following her husband and child into the kitchen. Even though he had insisted she call him Pops, River found herself uncomfortable in doing so, beside the fact that Eilian seemed to think it was a special thing between herself and her great grandfather, River decided that she would not be the one to take it from her. "Help yourself." She told him gesturing to the pancakes and fruit laid out across the kitchen bench amongst clutter and mess that had surely been created by The Doctor and Eli.

Standing beside her husband without shoes on River had to stand on the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek, one hand on her daughters back to keep her balance before she could help the girl down.

The short girl's height reached just below her mother's hip, she needed a step to reach the bench and easily moved around chatting adult's legs in order to reach the top of the counter and the food. She had not gotten far when her father caught on and lifted her off her feet. "Pops!" She squealed while her father hung her upside down and tickled her sides. "Help, Mister Williams!" She only saved that name for rare occasions and the odd few times she had the man sit down for a tea party. She wanted something, she wanted help – desperately.

"I'm sorry, poppet." He grinned wickedly as he popped a strawberry in his mouth. "The night guard is off duty, your daddy's got you now. Maybe next time, hey?" Brian laughed at her mocked frown that only lasted a second on her honey skinned face before it morphed into a giggle and a squeal as her father flipped her right side up and proceeded to tickle her.

* * *

_You know what to do. :) _

_- Lyssa_


	3. Safe Haven

Safe Haven

'"Libraries are a safe place." Eilian mumbled, her eyes closed as she stretched her arms out forcing her father to move over a few extra inches. His chest contracted then let go, his mind reminding him that now was not the time and place to think about it.'

Tucked into the TARDIS library the madman and his daughter built a blanket fort.

Eilian: Four-years old

Margo: Six Months

* * *

River had only just stepped over the threshold for the TARDIS library, baby on her hip when the familiar warmth and knowledge that made her feel so at home settled over her. The Doctor had flinched like some injustice had been done when she first told him that the library was her favourite part of the TARDIS, but believe it or not, it was. She was an educated woman, a scholar of sorts and there was nothing like a good book, fiction or otherwise that made her relax. To be honest with herself, it was something River had found at a young age, the power of words and how they could be rearranged to create anything those with the penmanship wished. She had always felt at home with words and one with libraries in particular.

Although she could easily find herself distracted her purpose that afternoon was not to venture into the library for reading pleasures but to find her husband and boisterous daughter both of which were being awfully quiet and hard to find.

She had taken a nap with their six month old, the both of them having come down with the flu and when they awoke the madman and his daughter were gone, the only sign of them was a note stuck to the side of Margo's crib suggesting that she look for them in the library.

Either the TARDIS was playing tricks on her or her husband forgot about the rather large room with its endless amount of hiding holes. River suspected neither was true, her husband, regardless of his sanity usually knew what he was doing when it came to taking Eilian on adventures. He was a little more relaxed inside the TARDIS than he was when they stepped out of it, but things were usually thought through – _usually. _

Margo gurgled around a fist full of her mother's singlet in her mouth as River wandered aimlessly, her fingertips brushing the spines of the books as they passed them. There was so much history within these pages, more than she could ever imagine and she had made her own history against the shelves.

River Song had been so young the first time she stepped foot in that large library, barely River Song and only in the early days of her prison sentence. The man was insistent on her trusting him, on her loving him – which she already did, but there was a pain behind his eyes whenever she relented to one of his games for the first time. She could see something die inside of him. It was different one night her she acted out on her school girl crush and silently pecked his cheek affectionately and meant it to when she caught him with slumped shoulders and a faraway look. He had reached for her when she pulled back but River had managed to dodge his touch and instead ran down the hall, school girl giggles leaving a trail behind her. The Doctor followed her into the library and together they weaved around aisle and the odd chair their laugher bringing the room to life.

The Doctor had caught up to her eventually, in the archaeology section no less one hand curled around her wrist, the other snaked around her hip and held a firm hand against the small of her back. He loved her that night, openly and in so many more ways than just the one. He didn't tell her that he loved her, he showed her.

River shivered at the memory, gooseflesh trailing down her arms and back. Margo let go of her shirt, allowing for the saliva soaked piece of clothing to come into contact with her skin. She shivered again, this time for a different reason.

She and The Doctor had come so far since then. He had been so old and she so young. That night was the night she learnt of their pre-proposed end, oh how she cried then and she knew nothing of what they had now.

His firsts were her lasts – she was plagued with that reminder for the rest of their lives. Constantly fearing making the first move in case he was yet to cross that line.

It was like watching someone you love deteriorate right in front of you and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She would see no more of The Doctor that loved her that night after he dropped her off at Stormcage the following morning and every time after that he would proceed to get younger. It was on the rare occasion that she saw the same Doctor more than once. She was glad for those days more than anything else – especially now that their daughters were involved in their poisonous fate.

River pressed a kiss to Margo's dark hair as she squeezed the girl tightly. "Let's go find daddy." She spoke, mostly to herself. Usually she would be happy to wander the library in no rush to find him but now that melancholy set in and a pang of fear itched up her spine she wanted to find him faster than ever.

She wondered briefly if the TARDIS was answering her prayer when Eilian's giggles hit her ears. She had not heard the girl a second ago and had barely reached the end of the aisle when she heard her eldest daughter mid-laugh. Her heavy heart was put as ease, if not slightly.

Turning the corner River Song was greeted with the sight of her daughter in The Doctor's arms as he danced them around the polished floor. River didn't know how the clumsy, sometimes useless man had managed it but behind him, stood a rather large blanket fort. A cubby house of sorts. Blankets of different sizes, patterns and colours hung draped across the bookcases, chairs and tables. The thing was larger than the man himself. And, although just woken from a nap to River Song it looked rather cosy.

She cocked her hip a little further; part in need to shift Margo and the other to give off an air of slight annoyance. River let a sly grin find home across her lips as she announced her undetected presence. "What in the name of sanity have you done?" Her voice rolled across the two in front of her making the man jump and the child look guilty.

The Doctor offered his wife a sheepish grin as he noticed that she still looked rather tired and Margo was no worse for wear. With their both being unwell, he had thought that taking Eli into the library and out of her sleepy mother's hair would be a constructive exercise along with something that was far away and quiet. He didn't think it would be a bother, as he so explained to the woman before him his face startled when she started to laugh.

Had being ill caused her to go barmy?

"Sorry." He offered again with a deflated shrug of his shoulders, ever the little boy. He let Eilian slip to the floor, the girl smart enough to not get herself blamed when her father made an easy target.

"I'm not angry, you daft man!" She laughed again as she moved forward and kissed his cheek. It was her turn to apologize for teasing and she did so lightly as he grinned back at her.

Kissing the corner of her mouth The Doctor smiled brightly, silently proud. In one swift swoop he scooped Margo out of her mother's arms and held her up in front of him allowing for room so he could assault her little face with playful and childish kisses. He span her around once, then twice eliciting giggles from both the child in his arms and her sister by the entrance of their fort. "Do you want to take a look, my dears?" The Doctor asked, spying his impatient daughter bouncing on her toes with a silent question to go in.

[…]

Unsurprisingly it was bigger on the inside and although the size came at no shock to her the welcoming space took her breath away. With mattress' and pillows covering the usually cold wooden floor River made herself at home, Eilian quickly finding place in her lap.

Her daughter held bounds of independence, even at four years of age but she also had a habit of being clingy too. River could understand though, The Doctor was never around enough for long amounts of time and when he was the girl hung to both of them just waiting for the disappointment of finding her father gone.

Both mother and daughter let out heavy sighs as they took in the warm colours ignited by the dim lighting supplied from faerie lights. River's heavy head and sullen heart found easy comfort in there, hidden away from the universe and its demands; she could hide in there away from the prospect of her daughters reaching an age where they could no longer see their father. She sighed again, as she hugged the quiet Eilian to her chest. The Doctor lay beside her, Margo fighting sleep on his chest.

Eilian left her lap to crawl over her father's legs and take place on his opposite side, her hand spanning her sister's back while her head found place on her father's shoulder. "Pathetic," River whispered playfully her finger bopping Eli's nose, the girl's eyes fluttered sleepily. "What's with this sleeping all day? We really shouldn't let her fall back asleep." Her hand ran from the baby's shoulder and down her back, resting on top Eilian's hand. She watched them for a moment, the drowsy man by her side and her daughters sleeping on top of him. To think he once held qualms about having children, to think he had once said to her they would never have children and now he lay there with his two beautiful little girls fighting off sleep with a love drunk smile.

River shifted her weight into her legs as she moved to get up, deciding it better to leave them to sleep and take some time to herself, but when she moved to lift herself from the mattress she found that she couldn't; The Doctor had wrapped his hand around her wrist, his eyes looking up into hers. Begging for her to stay.

"She can't sleep there." She mumbled, pointing to the six month old with her spare hand. The girl was prone to rolling and would most likely roll off his chest all together. The Doctor was quick in moving the girl, lying her between them and scooting back in order to make room for Eilian who was once again crawling over the top of him in order to be involved.

"Stay?" He asked, voicing the question that matched his eyes. "I know you're agonizing over something, but just stay. We're all here, no one's going away. Time's stopped." She cocked and eye brow over her children's sleeping bodies and he shrugged. "Not literally. But you know what I mean, nothing will get us. No bad thoughts." He shook a finger at her as though he were Eilian scolding them for doing something they had previously told her not to do.

"Libraries are a safe place." Eilian mumbled, her eyes closed as she stretched her arms out forcing her father to move over a few extra inches. His chest contracted then let go, his mind reminding him that now was not the time and place to think about it and even though there were a thousand things telling him to stop, he couldn't until his daughter distracted him further, whimpering something about a story as she rubbed at her eye with a little fist.

The Doctor hummed, his hand reaching for River's past their children's heads as his mind ran though thousands of years' worth of stories. Where did he begin? He never knew with his little daughter and he found the child – and her mother – to be quite picky towards what he selected. His mind scrolled, place after place, companion after companion, the times he laughed, the times he cried, the times he couldn't be more frightened for his life. His mind stopped; it wasn't too horrific and the moral was good.

A world built from the foundations of a man who never would.

The words poured from his mouth, languid spirals against his mind as he spoke of Martha Jones and Donna Noble. Through gritted teeth and a slight wince he told his wife and mostly asleep daughter of Jenny and the week long war that nearly ruined a society that had yet found its chance to begin. He drifted off to sleep somewhere in between, which had thrilled him when he later awoke the rest of the story tingling on his tongue. The Doctor, of course was never one for endings and with his children and sick wife asleep beside him he found no urge to finish it. Not when he had to take them home and say goodbye today.

Instead of waking them he optioned just for watching. They were so peaceful in their sleep, his three favourite girls, nothing could touch them. Not in this safe haven at least. He knew there would come a day where he would mess up, when he won't turn up on time or at all. He knows that there is a day coming where his wife will kiss her children goodbye and never come home. He knows when that day happens his daughters will never forgive him for his own foreknowledge. It will be his fault and they will hate him. But for now, curled up in a blanket fort nothing could be sweeter or more innocent than his little girls.

* * *

_I keep circling around this idea that he's not going to be there for them and all that jazz – it was present in the first two as well. I'll stop doing that eventually, I don't know why it _keeps _coming up. So sorry. My mind runs away with me. _

_There will be more of the kids too. I need to start thinking of this as a proper fic and putting that little bit more thought into it. _

_Feedback would be great. _


	4. Great Granny and Granddad Pond

Great Granny and Granddad Pond

"I had a little girl like you once, her name was Amelia. She was very bright and very brave. She liked to go on adventures a lot with her Raggedy Doctor."

Eilian – 3 years old.

No Margo

* * *

"She has some of the weirdest dreams does she not? If you ask me its childish fancy running away with her, not that I mind. Amelia was exactly the same." Tabetha Pond spoke with a critical fondness as she joined her husband in the backyard, a girl of three running around the grass and flower beds calling to herself and whatever else she pleased.

She was a strange child, in the best sense, a wonder to all those who met her and a great friend to each and every one. She was a little girl who was not supposed to exist and yet found her place in the world and was happy to own it. She talked to animals and held conversations with the plants, she encouraged the best in herself and others and for that everyone was glad. Occasionally the girl – whose age resided at three for the time being – would run up to the garden table spout something about saving the universe with a great huff, take a large mouthful of her orange juice and then run off again.

She hardly needed supervision her independence and self-sufficiency was so strong but she sought it out anyway and her mother insisted on its utmost importance. It wasn't like he minded much anyway, Eilian Marie Song was his great granddaughter after all.

Augustus Pond laughed at his wife's comment as he simultaneously waved at the little girl on the other side of the garden. "Dear, I think you forget that her father _is_ Amy's raggedy man. I doubt they're childish fancies at all." Tabetha huffed, her husband had a point. Had the girl really seen all that she claimed? Surely some of her creatures and adventures were fictitious, children were good at making things up. Then again, that was one of the things that came with The Doctor and River Song – you just never knew.

Eilian's playful shrieks lit up the afternoon air as she jumped out from behind a hedge, "Dallleekkss are coming!" She squealed a whisk in one hand and a plunger in the other. Gus wondered briefly towards where she had acquired the items but decided that he probably would never find out.

He watched as she scanned the yard, trying to spot something in particular before she turned back to the rose bushes in front of her. Augustus only watched as the girl pulled her arm back only to swing it towards her great granny's pink roses. "ESSTERNIATE!" She yelled in a high pitched voice that sounded like it was supposed to mock a robot. The force of her swing colliding with the flowers had pushed Eilian to the ground. Jumping back up the girl attempted to wipe the grass and dirt off her clothes, deciding herself presentable – even though she had missed a few spots – Eilian made her way back towards Gus and the food she was told she had to eat before going back inside.

Eilian climbed onto a spare patio chair and leant over the table with a theatrical flick of her curly blonde hair. Snagging a sandwich off the table Eilian grinned at her grandfather, her cheeks full while both of her chubby hand held onto either side of her food.

Kicking giddily she grinned at the older man who, after every few sips of his tea would pull a face just to make her smile. "I like you, Agus-gus," Hiding behind her hand she smiled shyly as she stumbled over the pronunciation of his name. "I'm real glad you're my granddad." She kicked her legs again, her hair falling in front of her face as she did so.

The man beamed. "I like you too, Eilian." He set his tea aside, his elbows resting on his knees. "I cannot express to you how extremely grateful I am to have you as a great granddaughter." The girl tilted her head, and asked the ever important 'why?'. "Because you were a very special surprise that I never thought would happen." Another 'why'.

Augustus stood up with a small sigh, in one swoop he picked up the girl and moved to the middle of the garden talking all the while. "I had a little girl like you once, her name was Amelia. She was very bright and very brave. She liked to go on adventures a lot with her Raggedy Doctor."

"Is that my daddy?" She asked softly, poking him in the cheek inquisitively.

Augustus nodded. "Yes it is. He would take Amelia and her husband Rory, your grandparents on adventures. I don't know what they did on their adventures, Eilian but they must had been a lot like your stories. And one day while Amelia and Rory were out having adventures they just didn't come back. But your mummy was there and a man named Anthony and I was very sad that my Amelia wasn't coming back but they made it okay." The girl frowned deeply as they looked up at the sky trying to spot the coming signs of darkness but there were none there. It was nothing but light.

"My mummy's good at making things better. Sometimes I get sad and she gives me a cuddle." Augustus laughed before giving the girl a response about mothers being good at making things better. Something about a magic touch. The girl's eyes grew wide at the word, surely she had seen so much in her young life to notice that magic didn't exist. Then again, Augustus admired River's ability to keep her daughter as normal as humanly possible considering what the child was.

"You, my dear" He bopped her nose playful while he held her on his arm. "never cease to amaze me." The girl flashed him a toothy grin proud, although she had not quite understood.

She wiggled to be put down and just like with everything else she took off, playing on her own. Augustus watched, fondly. The girl had begged for a sibling, pleaded and wished upon the brightest star everything she could do all but shy of being granted such a thing. Gus smiled, it wouldn't be long now and the girl would be granted with her wish.

The miracle girl was going to be joined by another. He smiled, thinking of how ecstatic the young girl was when she told him a matter of months ago about her mother's coming arrival. A sibling. Oh, how she grinned. The little princess wouldn't have to rule alone even if her kingdom was still unknown to her.

"Grandad!" Eilian's compelled voice called from behind the mangled rosebushes, destroyed by her own hand. Joining the child on the neatly cut grass he asked what was wrong while she picked at the grass in front of her. "Do'ou think granny will let me watch a movie?" Her eyes were round and green when she looked up at him, nerves running across her face and he knew the anxiety came from the thrashing she gave her great grandmothers roses. Gus nodded, knowing that his wife would give Eilian anything she asked for. "'Brave'?" She queried a blonde curl falling in front of her eyes.

Augustus laughed. He should have known that her choice would have been that film above all others. With confirmation towards her viewing pleasures Eilian jumped up and ran for the backdoor. Little hands slammed against the sliding glass, causing the girl to giggle and her grandmother, who was standing on the other side, to frown. "Can we make cookies?" Eilian asked, when the door was slid open by Augustus who had finally managed to catch up.

"I thought you wanted to watch Brave?" Gus asked as his wife rolled her eyes.

Eilian nodded while she spoke; "I wish to do both." She watched them both for a moment gauging the response she would receive. "I'll even share!" She added, jumping on the balls of her feet.

"Movie first," Tabetha announcing hoping it would calm the energetic child down before her mother arrived to pick her up. Eilian frowned slightly, upset that she could not do both at once. "And if we have time before your mum comes to get you then we'll make cookies._ If_ we have time." She repeated for good measure as her granddaughter ran past her wanting to start her movie straight away. Tabetha could hear the girl in the other room bossing Augustus around when he didn't play her film fast enough. She chuckled, remembering how stubborn and independent Amelia had been at that age, tapping her foot on the floor towards her father's inadequate speed. She never thought she would miss her daughter's impatient moods. But then again, you never realized you missed something until it was gone.

She knew there should have been pain with Amelia's absence but somehow, remarkable – although she still ached for her daughter – Eilian made up for the lost space more than anyone was willing to admit aloud.

[…]

"Ouch!" Eilian shrieked as she dropped the hot cookie back onto the tray. Tabetha offered the girl no sympathy towards her stubbornness. She had been warned that the sweets were hot. "Granddad, they're hot!" The girl scolded as she watched her grandfather pick up a hot cookie, unfazed by its heat. He winked at the girl as he broke it in half when Tabetha wasn't looking. Blowing on half of the sweet he attempted to cool it before handing it to Eilian.

Finding the cookie not as hot as the last one Eilian beamed at the man before she shoved it greedily into her mouth. Eilian was reaching for another when the doorbell sounded and her priorities shifted. Slipping down from her stool she ran for the front door bossily calling for Augustus to open it long before he had reached the door himself.

River stood on the other side, smiling sympathetically towards the man who had been yelled at by a three-year-old. "Hello Granddad." She beamed as he let her in and hugged her. "I hope she wasn't a bother." River kissed Tabetha's cheek when she joined her in the kitchen. Having seen the house was far cleaner than her own she assumed her messy and rather bossy daughter had actually behaved.

Tabetha laughed as she replied. Of course Eilian had behaved, but she was also three and sometimes things went wrong. Nothing that the couple couldn't handle. They were in the middle of a discussion concerning Eilian when the girl herself along with Augustus entered the room. "Those cookies are mine." She told her mother, rather matter of fact. Never once to scold his granddaughter Gus let Tabetha reprimand the toddler for her choice words, reminding her that they were for sharing and she had said so herself.

Her mood only worsened and it wasn't long before River was getting up to leave, realizing that nothing would stop her daughter now and that perhaps it was time for home than bed. Standing in the driveway, Eilian said her goodbye's mood improving remarkably when she heard that an early night was in order.

From her mother's arms she waved them both goodbye, knowing that she would return in a day or two when they picked her up from day care but for now she was happy blowing them kissing and mending their broken hearts.

Amelia Jessica Pond was trapped in another time, dead now but still living in their hearts. Eilian was the one who kept that memory flowing and her mother, River Song for allowing them so much time with the special girl who had peculiar dreams.

* * *

_I have quite a few of these in progress now. All I have to do is finish some quality ones. _

_Reviews would be nice. :) _

_A_


	5. Hope Restored

Hope Restored

"_I started hating him a long time ago. You need to do the same."_

Now in their more difficult years, Margo refuses to give up on her father whereas Eilian has lost all hope.

Eilian – 17

Margaret – 13

* * *

She stopped, unable to move in the doorway of her mother's bedroom as she watched her sister fiddle with the leather watch around her wrist. "You're not allowed to do that." She was thirteen-years-old and _she _had to be the one to keep her sister in line. To Margaret it was hardly fair, but no one else ever seemed to be around when her sister needed a serious scolding.

"Oh relax." Eilian laughed back as she flicked a smouldering gaze towards the doorway her eyes rolling theatrically. "You're so damned sensitive, Margaret. I'll be back in a second." She watched her sister take a restrained step. She looked like she was confronting a bully. Eilian knew that that was exactly the case. She was tougher than her little sister and made sure that the younger girl knew her place. "What mum doesn't know _won't_ hurt her." She glared, a silent threat.

Margo shook her head, it wasn't true. Their mother always found out about these things, even when she wasn't the one to tell her. "Whoa." Eli raised her hand, her sister was visibly shaking with anxiety. "Don't even think about it." She continued to glare before taking a second to look back to the vortex manipulator wrapped around her wrist. Checking that it was secure she stepped towards her English rose of a sister. "You tell mum, when she's in the middle of preparing for this big trip and I will personally strangle you in your sleep." Her finger reached out and pushed into the flesh of Margo's cheek.

It was bad enough that she was timid and shy. She was picked on for the scaring that trailed from behind her right ear, down the side of her neck then curved over her shoulder and down her spine. Lichtenburg figure was the technical name but she never much liked to dwell on the topic – nor did her father. But Eilian never bullied her for the scar. she was there when it happened and liked it as much as Margo did. Instead, she was the fortunate one to know every aspect of her sister's 'pathetic' life and used that to torment her instead.

Tears welled in her eyes when Eilian pulled back with a wicked grin and the shake of her finger. "Mummy mustn't know." Her blonde hair swayed as she moved, she had straightened that day and the length of it reached her waistline where it could brush against bare skin.

Sucking in a breath she took another step, following her sister further into their mother's neat and rather boring adult room. "What, what would dad think?" Margo stuttered flinching at her own words and the imagined outburst that she was about to receive.

Eilian had had her back turned to Margo when the girl spoke, but as soon as the words were out of her mouth Eli turned impossibly fast. "What does it matter? Do you even remember the last time we saw him? You were seven-years-old. He doesn't care anymore Margaret. Stop pretending that he's going to turn up and save you. He won't." Eilian spat at her sister, the tears slipping down Margo's cheeks went unnoticed as she growled. "I started hating him a long time ago. You need to do the same." And with that electricity crackled around her and she was gone, her mother's vortex manipulator strapped to her wrist.

Wiping her tears away with the back of her hand Margo sniffled. She never wanted to give up hope in her father. Eilian had been right when she said that the last time they saw him Margo herself had only been seven. But that didn't mean he wasn't around. It didn't warrant reason to hate. They both knew _who_ their father was and had understood from a young age _why_ he couldn't be around as much as they would have liked. He was saving the universe, their very own personal hero.

She loved her father no matter his absence or Eilian's cold heart.

Taking the stairs two at a time Margo wandered directly into her mother's study. "Hey, sweetie." River smiled knowing which daughter it was who stepped into the room without needing to look. She continued to shift through a stack of paperwork on her desk knowing that Margo would tell her what she needed without needing to pry it from her.

"Does dad still love us?" She asked her bottom lip starting to shake as her hand flew to her mouth. She never meant to ask it out loud.

River turned with a worried frown, pulling her glasses off her nose she moved for her daughter, the one who looked the most like her husband, with her arms outstretched. "Of course he does." She laughed through her own emotion hoping that she sounded convincing to the thirteen –year-old. The truth was, River Song no longer knew what her husband thought about their family she hadn't seen him in so many years. "Why do you ask?" She squeezed her daughter tight for a second before pulling back and watching her face with worry.

"Eilian." Margo forced a watery smile. The name was enough for her mother to understand. Margo hadn't allowed for any other conversation on the topic instead, she buried her head in her hands with a hiccup and disappeared back up the stairs.

.

"Honey, I'm home." He called with a flamboyant swing of his arms as he, The Doctor, stepped through the back door.

River Song was in front of him, on the other side of the room when he entered, her back to him. In flannel pyjama pants and a plain singlet, her bold curls were an unruly mess to the likes of which he had rarely seen. Her shoulders were slumped and when she turned to face him he recognized a tiredness he had never seen. He had caught her once, eight months pregnant and half awake at a four-year-old fever struck Eilian's bedside.

She looked worse for wear now.

He felt a surge of anger towards how his River Song, the woman who killed the Doctor could look so upset. He promised himself that there would be some serious maiming going on towards whomever it was that inflicted this emotion on her. "'bout time." River offered half-heartedly causing The Doctor, for a moment, to doubt where he was in their timeline.

The girls existed.

They had to.

Pictures of them lined the walls and, if he had forgotten, River bought this house only a few weeks before Eilian was born.

The fact that his wife didn't reply with her usually remark worried him further. There was no quip about what time he thought it was or a sexy smile in return, he felt his blood run cold. "Where the hell have you been?" She hissed, her eyes boring holes into his head.

"River …" He started, confused as to what had happened.

She held her hand up to stop him. "Eilian has run off, again and Margaret is a bullied thirteen-year-old girl with horrible scarring whose sister only makes the abuse worse. Take your pick; emotionally distraught daughter who hates you or emotionally distraught daughter who is that way because of you?" She looked fed up, tired and close to ruin, he wanted to ask about when she last saw him, but feared the answer.

"Margo?" He asked sheepishly, Eilian was as, if not more, head strong than his wife and he could hardly handle River when he wanted to let alone a seventeen-year-old girl. Besides, he always had a soft spot for Margo, especially after what happened with the lightning when she was two. It was all his fault and he felt guilty for it being so.

River pointed to the roof silently, indicating that the requested child was on the floor above them.

The Doctor leant in and kissed his wife's cheek softly, his hands on her arms. "I'm sorry." He apologized.

River shook her head as she pressed her lips to his. "It hasn't been that long dear, just a rough day." Although it had been several years for her daughter's River Song was still having adventures with her husband. He smiled glad that his heavy hearts have been relieved, at least there was something he hadn't done wrong, as of late anyway.

He found Margo in her bedroom, face blotched with shed tears and built up emotion. A book sat open in her lap but she wasn't reading it. He knocked against the door jamb unsure if she knew he was there or not.

"Dad?" She looked up, startled her eyes brimming with new tears. "You're home?" She asked. It was common for Margo to doubt his appearance, Eilian gave up a long ago but she had had him frequently throughout her childhood and was self-sufficient enough not to care. Margo on the other hand had it quite the opposite and had lived for his visits.

It was tragic really, the child he physically ruined as a toddler still hung on his every word. She was the reason as to why he spent every second trying to make the universe a better place and the reason as to why he put his foot down towards the children travelling with him. Unfortunately thanks to that River had no reason to argue against it.

His heart broke for the young girl before him. Reaching for his comfort, but he didn't retreat. Instead he granted it willingly. Sitting himself on her bed he allowed the child, the adolescent to curl up in his lap and cry.

He alone had done this to his children. Brought them to war between themselves.


	6. Lightning Scars

Lightning Scars

"_Lying there, his hands under his head was when he heard it, his whole body tensing at the noise he never wanted to hear again. He squeezed his eyes closed harder as he heard the crackle, snap and then the scream_."

The Doctor's adventures are not for children.

Eilian – 7 years old

Margo - 2 years old

* * *

It hadn't been a romantic destination or a planet dedicated to children's entertainment, it was here on a planet no one could pronounce that thunder and lightning found itself a constant home. It was mostly dark, as though stuck in murky night. The little village that had been set up for the purpose of visiting persons glowed with a yellow light. The whole place looked like something out of a horror story and it's off putting feel belonged to the electricity that ran thick in the atmosphere.

There was nothing to fear there, not really anyway. The Doctor knew from experience that something always went wrong somewhere and monsters would always stalk the shadows, but he had picked this day, this time and this place for the one particular reason – that it would be safe.

You needn't have been there very long before the air crackled and snapped, thunder rolling across the thick clouds, lightning illuminating its path.

It was magical, really. With two young daughters and an adventurous wife, The Doctor thought such a place would be an intelligent treat.

How very wrong he had been.

The eerie planet left them be from trouble, allowing a family day out as the four of them found a place on top of a little hill, grass and trees scattered about them and more than enough space for the girl's to run as much and relatively as far as they pleased.

Thunder cracked and rolled, every now and then its abrupt anger would cause the girls to squeal and take hold of the other's hand. Margaret was only two, barely finding her independent freedom in the universe whereas seven-year-old Eilian had well established her place. No matter their age difference, The Doctor admired their ability to watch over the other one as though it was the only thing that mattered. For siblings, such as sisters he was glad that they got along, even if it wasn't guaranteed to last.

The Doctor himself, sat on a rug they had acquired from the little village. With his wife beside him and children playing contently he allowed himself to relax, to find comfort simply in their being there. He closed his eyes, his hearing focusing on his daughters' laughter rather than the thunder. All together he tuned out the blue and purples of the illuminating clouds as his mind closed off to everything but the three people he lived for most. Lying there, his hands under his head was when he heard it, his whole body tensing at the noise he never wanted to hear again. He squeezed his eyes closed harder as he heard the crackle, snap and then the scream. Perhaps if he did not open them what he heard would remain fictitious or misheard.

The howl of a distraught mother in that moment became the number one sound in the universe he never wanted to hear again. He had much preferred the familiar electronic prattle of 'delete' or dry, battle cry of 'exterminate' rather than his wife's strangled scream.

'… _thunder storms every five minutes, less even!'_ He had told her, excitement coursed through him and vibrated off in waves. She was unable to relent. _'It's safe.'_ The Doctor had promised his wife, when concern for their daughters' well-being arose.

He was wrong in what he said. So very wrong.

_Perhaps_ he got his places confused, or the date hadn't been the exact one he remembered. There was a chance also that it was just a temporary fault in the atmosphere. Either which way, he had just heard something he didn't want to confirm.

His hearts hammered in his chest, there was no pull. No one was dead. A chord hadn't been snapped and for now the tether between the man and his children was still there. Guilt plagued on his mind as his chest contracted, he had been the one to _assure_ River that this place was safe. He promised that their toddler would go unharmed if such a visit occurred and that Eilian would enjoy the feel of the atmosphere.

_It was safe. _

Another scream filled the air, followed by a name.

Margo_. _

His eyes shot open and his body jumped. He was on his feet and hurtling towards them in seconds. River sat, bent over her little daughter. Eilian stood a few steps behind her mother, stock still she was petrified The Doctor could only imagine that it was cause of what she had seen. "River," His voice was stern and cautious. He was trying to take control even though he knew she would think he had no right. "We need to get her to the TARDIS." It was a simple order, one that would not take them long. Granted, it probably would have been easier if he brought the TARDIS to them, but he couldn't leave. He couldn't leave them in fear that he would get it wrong.

His hand skirted across River's shoulder as he passed her in a hurry to get to his shaking Eilian. With the girl in his arms he turned back to his wife, unsure as to why she hadn't moved. He repeated her name in the same stern tone as he gritted out "now" hoping she would understand.

The woman's hands fluttered over her daughter's body, "She's not breathing." He voice was shaking almost as much as her terrified hands. Even though it was his daughter's life that was hanging in the balance and he understood the importance of being quick, The Doctor could not help being stunned to the point that he couldn't move.

His wife. His River Song did not know how to handle a high stress emergency situation? He trembled. Things were bad. Putting Eilian back on her feet, even through her reluctance The Doctor crouched down, opposite his wife. "I need you to take Eilian back to the TARDIS." He didn't look at her. He couldn't. "_Please_, River." He stressed, one hand clenched tightly by his side while the other searched his pockets for his sonic screwdriver.

The Doctor looked up briefly when River didn't move, his eyes pleaded with hers and in a second she was up and gripping Eilian's fragile hand. There were tears in her eyes as she watched him preform CPR on their infant daughter. She had only managed to solidify her confidence in walking and now this. River pulled Eilian away, her daughter didn't need to see it and it would be best if they bought the TARDIS to the man. The machine always listened to her, she wouldn't get a thing wrong.

It didn't take long to get Margo to breathe, she was unconscious but breathing, her little hearts fighting so hard and her regenerations taking a back seat. She was too little to control her regeneration energy, The Doctor just hoped it would work on his own if he life became to threatened.

What had he been thinking in bringing his children here? He couldn't get the question out of his head. Sitting on the back of his legs, leaning over the infant he couldn't stop thinking that this was all his fault.

If Margaret made it out alive – which she would, either through regenerations energy or her own tiny strength – his youngest daughter would still be left with horrible scarring both of the mental and physical. He could see the formation of Lichtenburg behind her ear and trailing down her neck, the coral branches already marking her pale skin with their vicious colour red.

He had once taken interest in Lichtenburg's study, centuries ago, but now the thought of the fractal patterns made him want to be sick. He didn't want to see them on his daughter. He didn't want to be left with a visual reminder that he had ruined her.

The sound of the TARDIS breaks echoed in his ears as the ship appeared behind him. He wanted to find humour in the fact that his wife had left the breaks on even though she severally detested to his leaving them on. The thunder continued to roll, electricity crackling around him. The doors didn't open and he didn't move for them. Instead he ran a hand over Margo's chubby cheek, a tear rolling down his face and landing on her dark lashes. "You're going to be okay, little one. I promise." He shrugged the girl into his arms swiftly and carried her into the waiting TARDIS.

[…]

It had been quite between the two of them while he made sure the TARDIS was keeping a close eye on the little girl. There wasn't much they could really do but let her rest while they watched her hearts and hoped that nothing would happen to her central nervous system as a result of too much electrical activity.

Together they tucked her into her crib in the room the TARDIS supplied across the hall from theirs and then checked on the fitfully sleeping Eilian. It was all done without a word to the other person until the door of their bedroom closed behind him.

"I told you." River hissed, her head shaking as she shifted through her dresser. "I told you it was dangerous to bring the girls along." She slammed the drawer shut, clothes balled up in her fist. "You wouldn't listen, you never listen. You're too busy trying to make up for something, you're always trying to make up for something! Stop it, just for once be there without any other merits." The Doctor stood on the other side of the room, he didn't know what to say and even if he did he wouldn't know how to say it.

She was right.

He was making up for things; for lost companions, his dead children, for all the times he wasn't there and for the times he won't be. He just wanted to cover all of his bases, make sure that his daughters had memories of the _cool_ things their old man did with them. It was the most he could do, they were restraining them to a 21st century Earth life until they were eighteen. He was just trying to make them happy.

"She's just a baby, Doctor! Time Lord or not, she's not strong enough for anything you throw at her." He couldn't look at her, instead he hung his head in defeat and let her yell. "You and I both know she won't heal properly and that was Lichtenburg I saw, wasn't it?" He nodded slowly. "It won't go away, she's not human, it might fade but it's always going to be there. That's if she wakes up." Her voice was steel and she was right. It only made him feel worse.

"River," He started as she moved for the door. "I'm sorry." He looked like a puppy, tail between his legs and head hung low in shame.

Puling the door open, she stopped, hand gripped around the handle. "Tell that to Margo and Eilian when they never get over it."

It took her days before she could speak to him on a normal level again, even longer before she could stand to touch him. Eilian and Margo were shaken for a while but with Margo's more than spectacular recovery they had no problems. The Lichtenburg figure that started behind her ear trailed all the way down her neck, curled over her shoulder and then sparked down her back. She had seizures as a result another aftershock he knew the little girl would never loose and another thing to add to the list towards his wife's hate towards him.

Even though it seemed to him that his daughter's had quite possibly moved on from their trauma, it would be years before he realized how incredibly wrong he had been. So very wrong.


	7. Without Foreknowledge

Without Foreknowledge

"_Who are you?"_

"_I'm not allowed to answer if you ask that question."_

The Doctor comes to visit. But there is one problem. He doesn't know his daughters exist.

Eilian – Five years

Margo – One year

_I tried not to refer to the girls by name unless it was in relation to River's actions. You'll get what I mean. But I just wanted to clear that up first. _

* * *

She was a wonder.

Really, she was. River Song was the most fantastic, mind boggling, magnificent being he had ever met. She never failed to shock him. He was young and she was experienced, there were days where he didn't trust her at all even though he knew he should. At the end of an adventure River never failed to live up to his expectations of complete wild wonder.

This time there was no adventure. Yet again, The TARDIS had taken him where he needed to be, even though he had made plans to sneak into Stormcage in order to see her even though she still wouldn't tell him why she was there. A change in plans never excited him too much, especially when the change did not involve the elegant River Song.

Stepping out of the TARDIS the Doctor didn't know where he was. The neatly kept backyard wasn't ringing any bells in his mind. The swing set was undistinguishable and he had no clue as to whom the little red wagon belonged to. A child's bike lent against a raised garden bed and a baby swing was attached to the brightly primary coloured swing set.

A sniffle caught his ear, along with the rustling of fallen autumn leaves and then eventually a _thud_ as something hit the side of his beloved TARDIS. "Oi!" He called, turning to face his assailant to the left of him. The back of the house and conservatory left his vision as he was greeted with a neat garden and small collection of trees. "Play nice." He warned with stern humour.

A child's voice called back to him. "No." Blonde curls stuck out from behind a tree trunk. The Doctor held his breath; she had River's hair. She sounded like her too.

Could she be? No. He shook the thought away. River regenerated from Mels into her brilliant curly haired self. Children could hold characteristics of complete strangers too.

He stood in silence, unsure as to what he was supposed to be doing. The TARDIS brought him here for a reason. But nothing seemed to be wrong. The child stepped out from her hiding space when The Doctor didn't reply. He looked her over. The tiny girl's attire gave away her little age; ballerina mice on her t-shirt, pink tutu around her waist and orange wellingtons on her feet screamed of a child who sought her independence and did as she pleased. The curls surrounding her face didn't help distract from the bossy, one-way, free spirited attitude that she seemed to ooze. But the thing that got him, that would have brought him down to his knees where the bright green eyes set into a pale face that stared up at him as though he was the most precious thing she owned.

He recognized the eyes that stared back at him. They were his own. But it was impossible, this child, she couldn't look like he and River had rolled into one person –

_Oh. _

She could.

Crouching beside his TARDIS the Doctor made sure he reached the girls height as he watched her intensely and asked, "Who are you?"

Her face fell. "I'm not allowed to answer if you ask that question." The girl looked down at her hands, a green knitted beanie was sitting on the leaves beside the tree trunk. She picked it up promptly, needing something to keep her childish hands still, the stitching on the beanie had became her victim as she nervously played with the hat.

The Doctor refused to move from his place, he didn't want to startle the girl who now seemed hesitant around him. "Why are you out here all alone?"

"I live here." She answered bluntly, her eyes downcast towards the beanie in her hands. He laughed but did not have time to reply when she jumped in front of him, her little finger pressed to his lips and her own pursed to shush him. "'ere that?" she spoke barely above a whisper. Straining his hearing The Doctor heard what he think she was trying to point out. Just barely he could hear the cries of a child flowing through the house and reaching past the open doors of the conservatory. "That's my sister." She pulled back from him, her hands falling over her ears. "I don't like it when she cries. Mummy can't make it better." She was looking at the ground again, her cheeks turning pink with upset.

The Doctor reached out for her, his hands holding her arms softly as he tried his best to soothe the child he held only suspicions about. The girl looked up at him, a question in her eyes more for herself than the man she recognized. He watched as she played out an inner battle. The Doctor could only guess she was fighting herself over who she was to him and why she could not tell him her name.

Eilian's little mind ran over her mother's instructions but as her sister's cries got closer to the yard she couldn't think of anything else. She shrugged her shoulders and gave in with a soft sigh. She reached out gently still weary of her mother's reaction. "Come on daddy, make her better. You always do." If the girl noticed his body stiffen at the title she didn't comment and didn't react, instead she kept moving, her hand wrapped around his fingers.

He hesitated at the door when the girl tried to pull him in through the conservatory. The girl called out for her mother, her voice raising well above inside measure so she could be heard over the crying that was coming from somewhere deeper into the little home.

River appeared around the corner, a red faced infant on her hip. He had a daughter, not one but two with the magnificent River Song none the less. He watched her with a lazy smile, this was definitely not the River he knew. She was dressed in sweatpants and singlet, her hair fell in ringlets down her back and her eyes were fading to grey but he had been yet to see them more alive. "And where do you think you've been?" She directed her question to the man standing beside her daughter. There was laughter in her eyes and she had seemed to miss how out of place he felt standing in the room with the three girls that were apparently his.

The Doctor knew that he shouldn't be there, this was not his life yet. But the TARDIS brought him here, he need not make a bigger drama. Instead, he relaxed his shoulders and grinned. "To take a page from your book, River; Spoilers." He couldn't help the wink that followed or the smugness that filled his being from outsmarting her.

"Very cute, dear." River adjusted the crying child on her hip instead moving to cradle the girl. With a wince she caught sight of Eilian, now hiding behind The Doctor's legs with her hands over her ears. "It's your turn, I'm afraid. She won't settle, perhaps you could give it a go." She was all tired smiles as she handed Margo to the man who didn't even know her. River didn't notice, if she did she wasn't saying anything. But there was yet to be a diary check, perhaps he could avoid it and leave before she realized she had been playing mummy and wife to a younger version that until now had no idea.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek before kissing the top of Margo's head. She watched him cautiously for a second before crouching down to pay her attentions to Eilian. The Doctor had started to rock subconsciously as he paced the room and his hand patted at the girls back. Settle her. He had to get her to sleep, or at least give it a go.

The baby had quietened in his arms as he swayed with her but she would not relent on grizzling at him. Without thinking he moved for the stairs behind the small living room and climbed them. Peeping into each room as he passed he sought out the baby's room. Pastel colours greeted him in a room at the end of the hallway and this time he didn't hesitate to go in, instead The Doctor made himself at home in a rocking chair and settled down with the daughter he didn't know he had.

He didn't think he could do this again, have children that was. But with the warm infant in his arms, unsettled and in dire need of sleep he felt at ease. He felt comfortable enough, within reason that he could do this again.

The Doctor had forgotten how much joy children brought into the world, their silly little ways and their innocence warmed his heart. Seeing the older girl in the yard in her childishly picked attire had reminded him of how sweet children were, how _good _they were. He _knew_ he wouldn't do anything wrong by these girls. Not if he could help it and yet, he didn't know them at all.

Time passed but not agonizingly slow for him and in the right order as it usually did. Sure, it was in the right order but with the warmth of the baby cuddled against his chest now sleeping peacefully and his own eyes suddenly heavy with sleep he had no mind or care to notice the time. A rap against the doorframe caught him out of his dozing but left the little girl asleep in his arms.

River's soft voice sounded in the doorway. "You don't know who they are." He could hear the grief and the worry but that wasn't her only tone. Mostly she was just quite, and watched on with a peculiar fondness.

"They're my daughters._ Our_ daughters." The Doctor felt helpless from his place in the rocking chair, tied down by the sleepy weight of his youngest daughter. She asked of the last time he had seen her even though she was terrified of the answer. Eilian had told her in the living room that he had asked who she was, hearing those words come from her daughters mouth set her blood to run cold. He was young. She knew that but there was yet to be a day were she stopped seeing the man she knew, the man she loved and most of all the man she married. "Demons Run." He answered simply and she gasped. River Song was yet to do Demons Run. As an adult anyway, but she knew what happened. She knew the story.

"You're so young!" Her hands flew to her mouth and she felt the urge to rip her daughter from his arms. But she wouldn't dare. "I should have – I should have asked to compare diaries. But, I never. I never thought a younger you waltz in here. Especially with El-" She stopped herself, her mind screaming 'spoilers'. "Especially with her by your side." He knew who she was talking about; the older girl with a pink tutu and orange wellingtons.

A fond smile graced her features none the less as she watched him try to balance his eight enough to be able to stand from the rocking chair without disturbing the sleeping infant. "That means you knew … you always knew about them. There were times where I was so scared, we both were and _you knew._" The Doctor could hear the smallest hint of anger rising in her voice. He didn't know what she was talking about but he knew it was something he would one day face with her concerning their children. He knew and he didn't tell her.

Lowering the baby into her crib The Doctor turned to face his remarkable woman. "Even when I know something, River you always keep me on my toes. Besides, spoilers." He pressed a gentle kiss to her nose, grinning as he slowly pulled back. River didn't care how young he was when she let him lean back down and kiss her harder, this time his lips moulding to hers. He didn't have the chance to tell her how he really felt on Demons Run. But he was telling her now, just without the words. He pulled back again, this time for the need of air. Pressing his forehead against hers he whispered, "I should go."

River nodded, allowing for the man to press a sweet kiss to her lips then her forehead before he slipped around her and bounced down the stairs.

"Daddy!" The older girl's voice called, causing the man to stop before he entered the conservatory, River following slowly behind. "Don't forget my dolly!" She jumped up from her place behind the coffee table, a Barbie doll in her hand. "You said you would fill her with adventures and then give her back." The girl had emphasized the giving back part. Crouching down to her level again, The Doctor took her doll willingly. He knew it, when she put it in the palm of his hand that she wouldn't get the doll back for quite a number of years.

But time was being rewritten. He wasn't supposed to be here. Not this day, not this young. His eldest daughter didn't get her Barbie back until she had seen thousands of worlds over hundreds of years. In fact his daughter didn't get her Barbie back until the day she was born.

* * *

_Tah-Dah! _

_That was fluff right, Ellie? I tried fluff. Man, you do not want to see my first attempt at fluff. It's bad. It's angsty. I'm fixing it up and making it a little less so then I'll probably post it. But this is for you my dear, fluff. Or attempted fluff. ... I'm going to stop saying fluff. _

_Let me know what you guys think. :) _


	8. Quiet Moments

Quiet Moments

Eilian and River interaction while River is pregnant with Margo.

_This was a tumblr prompt:"…i was wondering if you could write a timebaby drabble in which river is pregnant with Margo, and Eilian is curious/feels the baby move/talks about being a big sister what have you? …" - anon, I hope I did it justice. _

**Eilian** – four years old.

* * *

Eilian's squeal was golden as she leapt away from her mother, her hands on her head. Titan curls thrown back against the pillows River Song could not contain her laughter. Eilian had been kicked by her unborn sibling. It served the little girl right for putting her cold little hands on her mother's bare skin so early in the morning.

The colour drained from Eilian's face as the four-year-old looked at her mother with complete shock horror. River sobered her laughter for her scared daughter, shifting slightly she held her hand out to Eilian and encouraged her to climb back onto the bed. "C'mere." She whispered, her eyes wet from humoured tears. Eilian didn't look convinced as far as she was concerned there was something moving under her mother's skin and she was not willing to get anyway near her. "Eilian," River's tone was soft as she held her hand out for her eldest and currently only born child. "It's okay honey, it's just the baby."

Eilian relaxed enough to believe her mother and climb back up on the mattress. Moving the blankets off her stomach River revealed her slightly protruding belly to the cold morning air. She was pregnant again, just after she gave up hope on it happening a second time around River Song found herself with a pleasant surprize. Eilian had been a blessing, this child whoever they were, they were a miracle. And even she was willing to believe so. Eilian sat on her knees before he mother, hesitant to get too close.

Tucking a blonde curl behind her daughter's ear River took hold of Eilian's hands warming them between her own with a soft smile. "Do you want to try that again, a little softer this time?" Eilian smiled apologetically, even though she had known what she was doing when she tucked her little hands against her mother's warm body. She just hadn't expected to be kicked in return. Thinking it over she nodded slowly, allowing her mother to guide her hands against the swell of her stomach.

Eilian buzzed, River could feel the energy running through her little hands as she watched her mother's stomach, compelled as to what she had felt. Eilian had known about her mother's pregnancy since the early days. She was an inquisitive child but also a worried one too so when her mother's turn of being violently ill kicked in the young girl, who at the time had been three-years-old was informed of the impending family member.

She had taken it as well as any three-year-old, excitement that turned into a quiet forgetting when her sibling had not arrived immediately. But the idea, the prospect of no longer being on her own followed Eilian with childish excitement. "That's my brother," She gasped as the baby's foot pressed against the pressure of her hand. "that's my baby, mummy!" she corrected after her mother's incision of 'or baby sister'. Eilian's eyes had grown wide and turned a wild green. She looked like her father in the midst of creating a plan.

Lowering her head to her mother's stomach she pressed her ear against the thin material of her mother's singlet. "I'm your sister." She whispered quietly as though it was the universes biggest secret. River played with her daughter's hair lazily as she listened to Eilian talk. "Mummy says that I have to share my things but I don't want to." River rolled her eyes, off course the first thing said was to support Eilian's needs first. "I still love you but, baby." She kissed her mother's stomach softly causing River to grin. They had not shared an interaction like this since she told her daughter that she was pregnant and River found something marvellous in the interaction between soon to be big sister and soon to be born child.

"I have to tell you all about daddy too!" She jolted against the mattress with excitement and in return was tapped harshly on the side of her head. "He is away lots, but baby he loves us so much. This big!" Eilian twisted her little body in order to keep her ear pressed to her mother's belly but also so she could spread her arms on either side of her body as far as they would go. "That's a lot." She whispered causing her mother to grin at her sweet sincerity.

It was quiet moments like this where her little daughter, her entire world revealed how important the good things were over the bad. She had slowed down a lot since having Eilian and it wasn't because the girl affected her physically. Mentally, she wanted to spend every waking second doting on the little girl who believed her father was a super hero and that good things came to those who asked nicely. It would take a few years and River wished it would be a lot longer before her daughter would find out that sometimes her father wasn't a super hero and on some days good things go to those who don't deserve it. She would face those days when they came but right now she was facing her daughter with the kicking realization that she was going to be a big sister and River Song would have to raise another child without the Time Lord, should-be-God, she called a husband.

"What do you think about being a big sister now that it seems a little more real?" River asked as she twined one of her daughter's ringlets around her finger. Eilian shrugged as she curled herself into her mother's side. Her ear never leaving her mother's stomach. How she found it so interesting River didn't know, to be honest she thought Eilian would get bored and ask to do something else. But the girl refused to move her head, instead she curled herself into a ball and let her eye lids flutter as she felt the gentle pushes against her head every now and then.

"It's okay." She mumbled through a stifled yawn. River worried temporarily that the girl would fall back to sleep and she would be forced to move her with the desire to pee. She didn't want to break up the moment but she really didn't want her daughter to fall asleep.

River tapped Eilian's cheek with her index finger. "Just okay?" She chuckled, watching as Eilian's little noise crinkled. "It's a very big responsibility." Eilian hummed 'oh' before telling her mother tiredly, 'I know'. "You'll have to look after him or her make sure they're safe. When Dad and I can't. Do you think you can do that, sweet pea?" Eilian hummed again.

"Can I teach her things?" River nodded exclaiming that of course she could. "Will she be my sister, forever?" River corrected her daughter on the unknown gender for the second time that morning before replying in the positive. She might not have known the sex of the baby but she did know that they were always going to be siblings, like she was always going to be Eilian's mum no matter what. Lifting her head from her mother's stomach Eilian crawled up to lie next to her mother. "I'm real happy that I get to be a big 'ister, mummy." She offered a huge grin behind tired eyes as she snuggled into her mother's side.

That was how the Doctor found the both of them an hour later, fast asleep and wrapped around the other like a lifeline. He lifted Eilian soundlessly up and off the bed trying not to wake her as he carried her back to her bedroom. But the feel of her babe being taken out of her slumbering arms caused River to rouse just enough to hear Eilian mumble something in her sleep, something about being a big sister and not getting the puppy she asked for last week.

* * *

_I would love to know what you all think. On this part or any of the others in the series. _

_-Annaliese_


	9. That's Love

That's Love

_"Eilian giggled, one hand letting go of its grip on her dress to point towards her mother and father, the two of them dancing as though they were going to become one being instead of remaining two separate ones. "That's love.""_

Eilian – 8 years old

Margo – 4 years old

* * *

The music was loud, live, and something of a symphonic classic across the galaxies. The atmosphere in the large ball room was thick, the air warm and every touch felt like being touched by a live wire. The electricity was thrilling. He loved every second of it and the sweet torture of being pressed so deliciously close to his wife just for the sake of being so was killing him in the most pleasant of ways.

It was the biggest party for the year, people came from all across the universe mainly to gossip about the who's-who of galactic fame. River had acquired an invitation months prior and they both had been waiting (amongst adventures) for the event.

They weren't alone, as the ballroom was crowded and the large house full. Their daughters were around, playing with other children and interweaving their mischief amongst unsuspecting patrons. He wouldn't put it below the sweet four-year-old and her devious, all too independent eight-year-old sister to pry on the goodwill and innocence of others.

The music played and together the madman and his wife swayed neither aware of the children watching them on the stairs. Eilian giggled, one hand letting go of its grip on her dress to point towards her mother and father, the two of them dancing as though they were going to become one being instead of remaining two separate ones. "That's love." She continued to point, her face beaming like she had won a prize, which she had if said prize was boasting at her own win on a game. "I told you I could show you what love looked like!" Eilian beamed harder, her free hand squeezing Margo's hand as the children around them watched the adults she was pointing to.

There had been a game; children comparing their parents to the others attending the party. It was boasting of sorts and as soon as the confident blonde child of a Time Lord overheard the game she knew she had them beat. Dragging a good majority of the children out to the stairs she held tightly to Margaret's hand, the shy girl cautious around the large number of people. It was fair enough to say that Eilian Marie Song had won the game by a far.

Giving up to the girl who had won through the use of her own parents confusing love story, the children returned to the games room, but Eilian stayed put Margo's hand still held in hers. "I'm going to fall in love like that, Margo. Just you wait, time will stop." Margo giggled, swaying beside her sister on the steps as they watched the adults sway, the music's rhythm seeping into their bones. "It's so magical."

Eilian heaved a sigh; trips like this, to places deep in space were a rarity, especially since her sister's incident two years ago. She turned her attention from the dance floor to Margo, the coral figure that traced her sister's body varied in shades from day to day but tonight it was the same ivory of her pretty dress; like silver pen on white paper the scars were barely noticeable against her snow white skin until the light caught them at just the right angle and then it shimmered like rippling water in the moonlight. Her dark hair was endearing and a quality Eilian envied, but she was only her little sister. There was really nothing to get frazzled about when it concerned her. Still in contrast her sister looked like an English rose, Eilian felt that people always perceived her as a princess by her looks, which wasn't really a wrong judgement. Her curly blonde hair and honey skin made her green eyes standout, she was beautiful, but at eight she was conscious of the way Margo was treated over herself. Oldest sister against the youngest.

'_Poor little, Margo.' _A voice echoed in her head, vicious and cruel, resentment radiating out of the words in waves. '_Daddy broke Margo, he's guilty and he loves his broken girl more. Poor little Eli. Forgotten.'. _The voice continued inching itself into the forefront of her consciousness where she couldn't avoid it at any cost, it was making her dizzy her vision blurring not only with rage that these thoughts inflicted but dizzy with nausea, she was never nasty not intentionally and not towards her sister. It felt like someone else was pushing into her mind. Eilian pulled away from the thoughts when she felt Margaret tug at her hand. Her sister was descending the stairs and Eilian had no other choice but to follow her. If she let go of her hand and allowed the four-year-old to wander on her one trouble would surely find her at the hands of her angry parents searching for the easily lost young girl.

The silver bell, tied to a black ribbon around Margo's wrist jingled happily as she pulled her sister through the throng of people towards her parents, not being able to tell the difference from one pair of legs to the other until she caught the bright stripes of her father's socks.

The Doctor was waiting, ready to crouch before Eilian and Margo caught sight of his face. In an instant he scooped his youngest daughter up in his arms and threw her up in the air, her bell jingling as her arms flew. She let out a shriek before giggling, the rest of the crowded dance floor unperturbed by her laughter. He threw the girl up once more, catching her with glee as River took a step back, Eilian by her side her face pressed into her mother's hip while she held her hand over the girl's back.

Watching her father throw Margo up in the air caused her stomach to churn and the nausea to come back. The voice pushed inside her head again, whispers this time and barely comprehensible. She tugged on her mother's dress, causing the tall, magnificent woman to lean down to her height. "I want to go home." She mumbled behind her hand, fighting the urge to stick her thumb in her mouth like Margo was currently doing, now sitting on her father's arm instead of being thrown.

River curled her finger around her daughter's hand, pulling it away from the girl's face. Stroking her thumb over Eilian's cheek she wiped away at glitter that had not been there when she left her children upstairs and asked the girl to repeat her words. "Can we go home?" Feeling dizzy for a third time she gripped her mother's skirt tightly in her little fist while her parents spoke. When the affirmative towards calling it an early night reached Eilian's ears she already had another question. "Can you carry me?" She had stood on her tip toes in order to be properly heard but River still shook her head.

"You're far too big to be carried, Eilian." The girl pouted as she looked around her mother's leg towards her father and Margo that were following behind them. Margo was being carried, why couldn't she? She could feel it this time rather than hear it and it didn't make her feel as sick. But there was anger there, resentment she only felt towards others and at a bare minimum. She never felt like this towards her sister.

Another simple question followed her first, "can daddy carry me?" she was so very tired, they had been there for hours already and the voice inside her head was pushing her to near exhaustion. She just wanted to be held, wanted comfort to ease the pain of someone else scratching inside her mind. She received another negative reply, her mother tiredly told her that The Doctor had Margo and he could not be expected to carry them both; even though there had been a few occasions when he had. River opted for holding the girls' hand and Eilian had no other choice than to take it. She was a spoilt child, but she wasn't a brat. There would be no tantrums in front of other people due to not getting what she wanted. Instead, she sucked in a deep breath and put on a brave face as her parents said goodnight as they moved for the garage that was temporarily housing the TARDIS.

Eilian slumped against the TARDIS console, her hand toying with the clasp on her shoe merely flirting with it rather than trying to take it off. "C'mon. Bed." River pulled a few pins from Eilian's hair, letting it tumble down the girl's shoulders while the eight-year-old pouted. She thought about complaining, but thought better of it. If she wanted to go home then she would have to deal with going to bed.

Tucked in and kissed goodnight by both mum and dad, Eilian tried for a story but gave in when her eyes refused to stay open long enough to pout at her father. It wasn't long until something roused her from her sleep unidentifiable but the pull had her poking Margo awake. Both girls found themselves hiding in the hallway, the console in their sight as they found their parents dancing, this time without the music. Eilian was careful to hold Margo's bracelet as she held her sister's hand. The bell would give away their place and Eilian wasn't in the mood for the scolding they would receive for no longer being in bed.

"Aren't they lovely?" She asked, half whispering to herself instead of her sister. Eilian watched her parents dance, the two of them laughing at something she could not hear. She was in awe of their romance, it transcended everything she had read in her books. A legendary romance to beat them all, Eilian knew it. She twirled as she watched her parents, her own nightdress flowing around her ankles as she moved. "I can't wait to fall in love like that, it's going to be marvellous!" She almost squealed, her own anticipation towards something so incredibly powerful exciting her beyond words. That mood changed quickly when she held tight to Margo's other hand and moved them both.

Eilian's excitement melted, it burned into a fury out of nowhere. Not in her current mind anyway. Nothing in her current moment ignited the anger, her own admiration had been fine before holes burned through it for no reason. Her spirits fell instantly, her hands let go of Margo's like they were hot stones. Margaret's bracelet jingled, not loud enough to catch the attention of The Doctor and River but enough to make Eilian turn red.

"You're simple, you know that?" She seethed, some form of self-pride growing within her at the insult yet at the same time something shrank inside of her; her eight-year-old self hated it, didn't understand the anger that bubbled towards the little sister she adored.

Not once had she said a hurtful thing about Margo, she had never felt anything nasty towards her unfortunate sister, never. Until tonight.

The truth of the matter, in laymen's terms was that Margo had been a little simple in her learning. After the lightning incident Margo's learning went downhill. Her parents could only conclude that it was a brain injury caused by the electric volts running through her system. Something went wrong that day and Margo had suffered with it ever since. Every single member of the family was understanding, even Eilian who hadn't quite understood why her sister was slow at things. She would never say a bad thing about Margo, especially when it concerned the after effects of the lightning.

It shocked the little girl further when the next thing came out of her mouth without any thought. She was not the one to will the words "I hate you!" To Eilian it felt like the world had stopped. White noise filled her ears and the sound of her heartbeats became painfully present. Swiping her head to the left she found her parents, now standing apart and staring at her in shock.

Those words could not have been her own and they weren't. But they _were_, those words left her mouth and she had no way of proving otherwise (without worrying her parents further). She held her mother's eye contact for a moment, before turning and running back down the hall. She didn't stop running when she passed her bedroom door, there was no point running there her parents would have to put Margo back to bed and right now she was confused as to how she felt about her sister.

The TARDIS gave Eilian a new set of hallways in a different spot and had cracked the door open to a large room for the child who was wiping away at the tears on her cheeks frantically. She hadn't seen this part of the TARDIS before, in fact there was a lot she didn't know about her father's ship. She really hadn't minded anyway her questions were answered when they were asked but this ship was infinite. Either way, unanswered wonders aside Eilian was grateful for the warm greenhouse the TARDIS allowed her to stumble into.

Eilian hid herself behind a large row of bright pink and fading purple phlox's along with something else that was seemingly glowing, dirt and mud welcoming her path as she hid amongst pots and bags of soil. She was committed to falling asleep in there, her eyes were heavy and full of tears but she didn't get the chance to rest her head. The door creaked, even though it hadn't when she pushed her way in and the sound of footfalls grew near. The TARDIS would hide her, but not for long.

"Eilian?" A voice called out, her father's voice. She sunk further into her hiding space, a hiccough leaving her lips. She was glad it wasn't her mother. The woman shot daggers at her when she heard what she had said. "I know you're in here, poppet." She sniffled again, this time a little louder and heard the footsteps stop. Pots rustled against wood as a clearing was made on the bench beside her, The Doctor's head popped through with a triumphant grin, the colour of the phlox lighting his face. "Found you." He beamed before pushing away from the bench and disappearing.

He was back again in a minute flat as he pawed his way through things under the raised plant beds to get to his daughter. "Nice spot." He grinned wiping the dirt of his hands. To be honest the TARDIS didn't need to direct him to his daughters hiding place. She loved the garden and conservatory at home in Leadworth, it was only fitting that she would find this one now.

Eilian didn't offer much for conversation. She forced half a smile before she let her head fall to the bag of dirt beside her allowing it to be a makeshift cushion.

Watching her for a moment, the Doctor smiled warmly at the sight of dirt on her cheek along with her wild bed tossed curls. She looked like her mother after an archaeological dig just with a little less thrill. Eilian looked terrified. "What happened?" He asked, his head ducking to catch her eyes, sincerity in his voice.

Eilian shook her head with a shrug of her shoulders, her bottom lip threatened to quiver. "I just got so _mad._" She curled her hand into her fist, this anger was all hers. Whatever thoughts had been pushed into her mind had decided to stay there, make home and chaos amongst the calm. She didn't like it, she didn't want it there but she felt it anyway. She clenched her jaw and pulled back when The Doctor reached for her. She mumbled something about not touching her as she retreated into herself further.

Moving so he was half crouching and half kneeling he tried to inch closer to the girl who was only pulling away. "It's okay; people get mad at each other sometimes." He told her calmly watching as she moved a little closer. He needed something bigger, something better something that would make her understand for sure. She knew people got angry, she was eight not stupid but it was rare that Eilian got mad to the point of yelling with the same fury she had yelled at defenceless Margo with. "Mum and I get mad at each other." He refrained from grinning when his little girl's interest peaked. "Sometimes she doesn't think and I think too much, sometimes it's the other way around and other times neither of us think and then we're both irritated with each other. It happens a lot more with people than you realise and it is _okay._ But poppet, that's love. You get angry at someone but you realize what went wrong you say sorry and together the two of you work it out." She nodded staring at his held out hand, her mind daring to take it.

Eilian's hand fluttered from the side of her nightdress that she gripped tight itching to take his hand but she needed an extra push. Reassurance. "Mum is going to be angry with what I said." She stared down at her knees. The Doctor shook his head. "She will, I know she will!" It had taken seconds but Eilian had worked herself up into a fretful state and this time The Doctor didn't care that she pulled away. Standing up he picked his daughter up and held her tight waiting for her to stop fighting his grip before he himself relaxed.

Sitting her on the edge of the raise garden bed The Doctor crouched down so he could look his daughter in the eye. "Mum is not mad. What happened between you and Margo happened between you and Margo, all you need to do is tell her you're sorry." Eilian nodded with a sniffle, agreeing to go back to her shared room.

Helping her down to her feet The Doctor was stopped as he tried to lead her through the greenhouse. "Daddy? Will you carry me?" With a grin he nodded.

Of course.

* * *

_This has a companion piece called 'This is Hate', ultimately they go together.  
_

_Let me know what you think. :) _


	10. This is Hate

This is Hate

"_Sometimes she wondered what hate looked like. Other times she knew."_

Eventually it all got to Eilian, but she was the one who had done it to herself. The devastating effects of grief built up walls but in turn brought them back down again.

Sequel piece to 'That's Love' probably benefical if you read that first to understand Eilian's problems.

Eilian – 18 years old

Margo/Maggie – 14 years old

* * *

Sometimes she wondered what hate looked like. Other times she knew.

It wasn't hard to miss when Eilian was around. Her sister oozed hate, practically wallowed in it. Eilian was the kind of person who found joy in another's pain. Maggie assumed she would find great company among the dominating Dalek's and unemotional Cybermen. Margaret wouldn't wish ill well upon her sister but she found it funny, in her own rare moments of humor these days that her sister, although supposed to be on her father's team. Would perhaps work better elsewhere.

Some would say that she needed to give her sister space. Allow her time to grieve. But this attitude, this desire to make everyone hate her and know that they were hated in return, it wasn't new. It didn't just come about after her mother died. Eilian had been like this for years.

In all fairness, Maggie was cutting her sister some slack. Their mother was gone from their lives. She was supposed to be on an expedition; a career changing, exciting expedition. The benefits of said expedition would not benefit her mother in the 21st century, but the 51st instead, it had hardly mattered to adventurous River Song. If only she had known. None of it mattered now, there was no point in dwelling on the thought. She had been saved into the data core of the biggest library in the universe.

It was time to move on, but neither girl could help but feel the daunting cold that filled their home or wonder if they had noticed their father's flitch whenever The Library was brought up during River's planning stages. When Maggie thought about it, she knew she would never know. Her parents were clever, they guarded their lives from the other in fear of "Spoilers". Sure, they cared. Maggie knew they cared. But River Song and The Doctor were more like Mary and Colin's divorced parents who now no longer lived down the street than what they were a normal married couple.

To be honest, 'normal' was a word that was practically banned around her parents.

Hate didn't bubble between them like she had seen it do to Mary and Colin's parents. It slowly manifested instead in Eilian instead, like hairline cracks in porcelain slowing growing bigger as she aged.

When their worlds shifted with the actual, physical feel of their lives shaking with the departure of their mother's living flesh, walls caved in around the cruelly constructed Eilian Marie and the compassionate Margaret Avery Song. Eilian was well protected enough, she had started hating everyone long enough that she didn't grieve, not in front of Maggie anyway.

Maggie on the other had was too busy dodging her sisters threats and keeping her sanity intact. To fully come to terms, emotionally towards her mother's leaving. She was a fourteen-year-old girl, she wanted to do what they did best. She wanted to yell, to scream and cry. She wanted to rebel but so far she had only gotten as far as insisting on being called 'Maggie'.

Her mother was dead .There was no time to rebel. That was fact.

It had been a matter of weeks after their world shifted before their father showed up. His eyes red rimmed and his cheeks blotched. Maggie couldn't tell whether he had just found out or hidden himself away until he could face them. He stuck around for a little while the first time, unable to sit still or focus on anything he left on the insistence of his two daughters – two girls who couldn't agree on anything but his leaving.

He came back, though. This time only a day after he left and this time, when he left again he took his daughters with him.

"Are you ever afraid?" Maggie asked as she joined him on the edge of the console platform, their feet hanging off the edge.

The Doctor looked up away from his hands. This was a brief moment of stillness for him, a moment for dare he think it; getting his wife back for the sanity of his struggling daughters. He could not do this alone. He never could. Perhaps this was one of the reasons as to why he resisted River's idea of children in the first place. They, all three of them, were now lost without her.

"Afraid of what?"

"Dying." It was a simple word that held thousands of meanings. But it rang heavy in his ears and full of dread when it was spoken through Maggie's sweet innocence.

An audible breath passed The Doctor's lips as his daughter's question caught him by surprise. "Oh, my beautiful Margaret." He shifted in order to press a kiss to her hair fondly and wrap his arm around her shoulders. Both of his daughters were kind and passionate, both of them lovely and so beautifully sweet only Eilian had lost that touch. But whenever they said something so innocent, no matter how small. He was in awe.

How was he supposed to answer her question?

Do the fatherly thing and lie? Or tell his daughter the truth? Tell her exactly how afraid he was, every day for every reason, not just dying and no bigger than anything and everything that concerned the well-being of his family.

But how could he tell her that he was afraid of those who lurked in the shadows of the universe, those who would do anything to get their hands on Time Lord DNA or someone just to get back at him and those who once succeeded. How could he tell her that he feared he would never wake to this face. That those fears stemmed from his own child's hatred.

How could he tell her that he feared his own murderer would be Eilian?

"Always." He muttered his head heavy and his heart sinking.

"After mum…" The girl stopped, took a breath then straightened her shoulders in an attempt to clear the caught words from her throat. "After she left I don't think Eli is afraid of anything anymore. Especially dying.

He tightened his arm around her. "Don't worry about your sister, Maggie. That's my job. It's my job to fix her not yours, okay?" He kissed her cheek, his own emotions starting to get in the way. "We can't stop your sister from being reckless – I don't even know how to stop that. But we're here for her. That's what matters. I will _always_ be here for the two of you. Even when you think I won't." The Doctor took a heavy breath. This was his life now, picking up the pieces of his daughters lives and making promises he now _had_ to keep. "This is what hate does to people. It leaves them with nothing. But we're not leaving Eli are we?" Maggie shook her head. She was her sister after all. "I think your mum leaving only made things worse for Eli, but there is an opportunity to fix her. She's just so closed off into herself that she doesn't even know how to mourn."

'_Never let him see the damage'_ flashed in her mind. There was diary in her room. Eilian had one just like it. Black with their names printed in gold Gallifreyan. Their parents, both River and The Doctor wrote in them for the first few years of the girls' lives. Adding little bits of information or recounting that days' adventures.

When the girls got older they were instructed to fill them in themselves. It was there, a good number of pages into Margaret's diary that a single page read; 'never let him see the damage'. Something had smudged the ink there too and she never thought until now to asked her mother about it. For the words had been written in River's adventurous cursive and very possibly had been smudged by her own tears. It didn't matter now, she couldn't ask her mother. But she could do as the page said.

Jumping up from the platform's edge Maggie fixed her skirt and ran down the hall without a sound. She had a plan, but she didn't necessarily know how to put it into action.

Her boots clacked against the metal flooring as she wandered the TARDIS halls, it used to be cathartic, but something was tingling at the base of her spine and rumbling in her bloodstream. Danger couldn't find her in the TARDIS, not unless it was invited in. But it wouldn't. No one would let it in. Her father was depressed, but he wasn't suicidal – he didn't wish to massacre his own children.

Turning a corner Maggie was stopped, her own hearts started to pound wildly one a little slower than the other. "Eli?" She whispered quietly, scared to move.

The hall had opened into open space, a large room was before Maggie and she hadn't even known it was there to begin with. Mirrors decorated the walls along with thick curtains and candles that brought more light to the room through the reflective glass. Eilian sat at the centre of the room, her shoulders slumped and barely breathing.

Gaining the courage to step towards her sister, Maggie moved closer calling out her name softly with the hope that Eilian would turn around and snap at her like she usually did. Tapping Eilian on the shoulder Maggie was treated with no response, only the feel of her sisters drained body. Her legs were crossed, her arms place on top of them, thin red lines across her wrists led to deeper pools of blood by her side.

With a gasp, Maggie took a step back. Closing her eyes she caught her breathing then ran back out into the hall, her shoes leaving bloody footprints behind her. Stopping at the corner, a T of sorts Maggie clenched her fists and buckled her jaw before she screamed for her father. There was no time in looking for the man. Eilian needed help, now.

"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it." She stressed as The Doctor approached. "I told you something was wrong when she came back from one of those shadow planets. Don't they practice in sorcery or black magic?" The Doctor looked at his daughter puzzled. He hadn't seen Eilian. Maggie simply pointed and waited while slow motion sank over her.

She watched, at fourteen-years-old as her father's face fell in fear and her sister sat slowly killing herself. Maggie had to turn away when her father's hand touched Eilian's head and the girl fell limp crumbling to the floor and nearly making it all the way before he caught her.

Maggie's ears rang, white noise. There was nothing to hear but her father's footsteps and his calling of Eilian's name. She slumped to the floor, hands finding place in her hair as her head flopped between her knees. Maggie let go of her hair to smack her hands against her head, why hadn't she noticed? Why hadn't she had said something earlier? What the hell was going on?!

_Never let him see the damage. _She was supposed to be hiding him from this, not rub salt into already stinging wounds. She was making things worse, but perhaps it were for the best. Maggie's head pooped up as her sister's voice hit her ears.

"Get off me!" She was screaming over and over again. Looking towards the room Maggie caught sight of The Doctor holding Eilian down while she kicked her legs in front of her. Getting up from her place against the wall, Maggie ran over wiping the tears from her eyes as she went. Eilian practically hissed as Maggie found place on the ground beside her. Their eyes locked and Eilian fought against her father harder, this time trying to jump towards her baby sister. "I have you!" She hissed, her words biting. "I. HATE. YOU. This is your fault. It's your fault. All of it! Mum's gone because of you, Margaret!" Maggie froze; her body instinctively pushed her away from her sister.

"Stop it!" New tears burnt her eyes. "Stop it, Eli. Why are you so mean!" The grin that spread across Eli's face and the way in which she calmly stopped moving was menacing.

"I did it. I was the one inside my head all those years ago. I made me hate you. You're the reason mum left in the first place." Maggie shook her head. No, no. It wasn't true, it couldn't be. "Little Margo and her books and faerie tales. Don't you remember 'how splendid would it be if there was a library filled with every single book known to the existence of the universe?'" Eilian mocked as she batted her eyelashes. "So mum found one." Her voice moved back to a hiss as she finally managed to get out of her father's grasp. Breaking free, she moved for Maggie faster than light as she pushed her little sister against the wall. Her eyes were wide and feral, she hadn't slept in days and her hair had begun to resemble that of a wild savage. "You. Ruined. Everything." Eilian hissed her nose practically touching Maggie's.

Gaining strength she didn't think she had Maggie pushed against her sisters clavicles. "No I didn't Eilian. It was you. You've ruined it all with your self imposed sour mood. I didn't do anything. You just needed someone to blame. It couldn't have possibly been in mum's interest to go to The Library on her own accord now could it? She expected dad to be there, she knew he would and in the end she sacrificed herself for us and for him. I didn't ask her to go Eli. I hate this as much as you do but you need to grow up!"

The Doctor by now had moved away from his daughters, his hands in his hair while he watched unsure of what to do. He watched as Eilian broke free of his grip, as she violently pushed her sister to the wall and then he watched as Margaret stood her own ground and beat her sister down.

No one ever told him what it would be like to raise daughters. No one ever told him what hate could do to a person and as he watched his girls fight, as he heard word after word spill from Margaret's mouth he also saw Eilian crumble and her bottom lip quiver.

"You hate me? I hate you Eilian Marie. You're rude and insensitive and you're mean. Every day I ask for a nicer sister so I don't have to put up with your torment anymore." Maggie was leaning over Eilian who had fallen to the floor. She was hitting her sisters arms, not hard enough to bruise but hard enough to hurt. Tears had been falling from her eyes for a while now as she let herself break down. "But here's the thing, Eli. I hate you, but I love you because you're my sister." She stopped hitting her after that. Instead she pulled her arms back, got up and walked away.

It took three hours after that before Maggie watched her bedroom door swing open slowly. Eilian stood before her, bandages around her wrists and apologetic expression on her face. "I," She started but the words wouldn't form. She tried again. "I was so hell bent on making you feel bad that I didn't realize I was actually hurting you. I'm stupid, Margo." She stuck with the petname she had picked for her sister the day she was born. "You won't know this," She toed at the carpet of Maggie's bedroom not completely ready to step all the way in. "but before you were born I promised to look after you and to teach you things." A small smile slipped on her face at remembrance of the lazy early morning she had spent with her mother. "I haven't done a good job at that. I wanted to know if I could perhaps start again?"

From behind her black diary Maggie looked her sister up and down. "Sure." She dropped the book when Eilian's shoulders sagged. "You're my sister Eli. I love you and I respect you but I swear, you do that again and I will kill you."

"Promise?"

Maggie nodded. "Oh, I definitely promise."

* * *

_Let me know what you think. :)_


	11. Superman and Berlin

Superman and Berlin

"_Douglas was a friend, a good friend but a friend none the less. He was human and as normal as they came. Well, perhaps apart from harbouring a crush on the time-travelling-mostly-alien-yet-presented-herself -as-human-girl who called herself Margaret Song"_

Margo – Seventeen years old

* * *

"The city is in chaos right now, just wait – wait a minute. Okay?" She pulled herself off her bike, her gaze tossed over her shoulder and directed at the man on the bike beside her. Or should she still be calling him a boy? Oh how her father disapproved of this. She was seventeen and that allowed Maggie with the pleasure to do as she pleased. Albeit she knew of people who had far tighter restrictions and sometimes wished they were bestowed upon her.

Her father's displeasure came from his youngest daughters latest plead for an adventure. She knew where she wanted to go and why she wanted to do it. His problem was the year and _who_ with.

Douglas was a friend, a good friend but a friend none the less. He was human and as normal as they came. Well, perhaps apart from harbouring a crush on the time-travelling-mostly-alien-yet-presented-herself -as-human-girl who called herself Margaret Song. She had attended both primary and high school with him but it had not been until four years ago that they started talking. He was a good kid, same age as Maggie, tall, dark, handsome and completely sweet. He was a geek and in some circles a dork but Maggie knew that every second girl crushed on him and his perfectly form _Clark Kent_ looks. But he was Maggie's friend and had never dreamed to betrayed that connection.

"H – how do you do that, Mags?" He stuttered at her, his head tilted so he could take in the world around him. "We – we're in Berlin Maggie. On the eve of war. I just, wow." Douglas adjusted the messenger bag on his shoulders as he fixed his posture on the bike; together they had rode from a small town outside of Berlin. He didn't believe the time travel thing completely until now. Even the town he was sceptical about. But now, now he couldn't deny it.

Maggie laughed. "It takes some getting used to. Now stay here." She hushed her hand up in front of her. "I just want to get a peek." He followed her anyway as she ducked behind a building and peered around its corner. Adolf Hitler was addressing the country in a speech she did not want to miss. She was in Berlin for a reason. Research purposes. The girl was in love with culture and the things that changed it, Adolf Hitler was a man who tried to start his own and she wanted to see it as it unfolded. Why so many listened to what he said for so long. Why the world was devastated. This was not exactly where it began but it was good enough to start with.

"So you, you and Eli used to do this all the time. Run off on adventures to see Adolf Hitler in his prime." Douglas asked, his hands on her shoulders as he stepped around her. "How much of history have you seen?"

Maggie shook her head. "Not much really." She turned from the speech, her back against the wall and Douglas in front of her. "Mum didn't want us doing this and dad agreed that they would wait until Eilian and in turn I, turned eighteen. Dad still took us places," Her finger danced across her neckline, silver Lichtenburg figure still striking against her snow white skin. "but after – Hey, Doug I really just want to listen to this okay?" He nodded softly accepting that she had stopped midsentence but knowing that her mother's death three years ago still hit her hard.

He watched her as she watched history. She was so bloody taken with the whole thing and unlike everyone else she literally could experience it all. She had the rest of time. He was compelled towards why she was so interested in something she would have the rest of her life to explore. Why not focus her attentions on something else in her teenage years? He was sure, without a doubt that she would out live him by centuries so why anthropology. Why now?

"You're going to outlive me." He spoke when she turned back to face him. He was reclined against the opposite building, his arms crossed over his chest.

Maggie tilted her head, a few loose brown waves fell in front of her face. "Women usually outlive men." She spoke with a confused eyebrow arch as she tucked her notebook into the bag that was hanging by his hip. Douglas shook his head, telling her that that was not what he meant and she knew it. Stepping back from the boy she considered herself good friends with Maggie shyly tucked her hair behind her ear. "Yeah." She nodded. "I will. You have to understand Douglas, I'm not human." She laughed at that as she let her shoes clack against the asphalt as she moved for her bike.

The boy clicked his tongue as he caught up walking his bike alongside her. "Now, not human would apply to your sister. You? Never!" She laughed again something between pity and humour. "I'm going to be your friend forever though, right?" When she didn't answer him he dropped his bike and ran in front of her forcing the girl to stop. "Right, Maggie. We'll be friends for a very long time."

She nodded. "It won't be long enough for me though, Douglas. Time goes so very fast when you live for centuries." He could see the hurt but he couldn't stop. She was his friend and as far as he was concerned the love of his life. She couldn't let her act like this.

"But, but your mum. Your mum was human." To be honest with himself he hardly knew her mother. Only seen her in passing during their primary school days and had known her for the grand total of a year before she died.

Maggie shook her head. "My mother is a whole different story that is far too complicated to even be repeated to me. She was half human. Time Lords were human once but their DNA, their genetic makeup was exposed to the time vortex generation after generation eventually they became what they did. Um, we are übermenschliche of sorts."

"Super human?" Douglas laughed his face full of glee. "They could make video games about you!" Maggie's face crinkled in disgust and then confusion. He was taking this better than she had initially thought.

"Oh please don't get started on the idea." She rolled her eyes.

He threw his arms up with flare "But, my dear. I'm a writer!" She mumbled something under her breath before giving up on her bike. The girl would never claim herself to be as adventurous as her sister in the forms of scaling buildings and stealing, but she did enjoy a good climb. Catching sight of a fire escape she dropped her bike and walked innocently towards it. "Just think about it, fallen to earth, stuck here with powers she can't understand and having to make a life amongst it all while hiding her identity."

"Sounds like Superman." Maggie scoffed playfully as she jumped to catch the ladder of the fire escape. Douglas hummed behind her and Maggie wasn't sure whether it was because of her comment or because she missed the ladder, probably a bit of both if she truly knew her friend.

Leaning over her Douglas pulled the ladder down and allowed the girl to climb while he audibly tried to talk his story _out _of being Superman. Sitting on the rooftop they watched over the city in silence taking the silent chaos in and knowing it was only going to get worse.

"It is so pretty here." She whispered, legs dangling off the edge.

Douglas turned to look at Maggie fear suddenly caught in his heartbeat. "Don't tell me you want to stay?" Maggie cocked a brow asking him a silent question he found easy to decipher. "Don't get me wrong, it's lovely but there is a war on the horizon and devastation I much rather witness though history books than real life. Besides don't you think the twenty-first century is enough?" Maggie shrugged.

"Eilian found comfort in 1950s California, she goes up to New York whenever she can to visit our grandparents so that works for her. Anything goes Douglas, that's the life of a time traveller, although I don't find 1930s Berlin quite as liveable as anywhere else." Maggie's head found his shoulder as she laughed softly. "I don't know where I'll stop to be honest. I don't think I ever will. So many places to go, things to see the whole of cultural history to write." Maggie went ridged as screams filled the air, she smiled to herself softly for a second before getting up. "C'mon. My dad will be waiting for us like his legs are falling off." Douglas followed behind, his eyes hesitating before he looked away from the scenery.

"What do you think is happening?" He asked as they rode their bikes back out of Berlin. She threw the boy a look over her shoulder. What did he think was happening? But he would be wrong on his assumptions.

"My mother is terrorizing people again." Maggie continued to pedal while she waited for the sound of his tires screaming to a halt and a followed 'what?'. The girl just grinned. "Spoilers."

"Song?"

"Peters?"

"You continue to surprize me." He was a love struck puppy and she didn't know what to do about it.

"I know. I do try awfully hard." She laughed openly as she climbed off her bike, her father's TARDIS in front of them. "Where too next?" Maggie asked as she leant against the time machines doors a playful grin on her face.

Douglas contemplated the question for a second before his grinned matched hers. "I want to take something up with Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel." He was all cocky superior humour to the likes of which Maggie fond intriguing on him, but his words were lost on her. Douglas forced a groan "Superman." He raised his hands watching as Maggie rolled her eyes and stepped into the awaiting TARDIS.

He followed her into the "It's far too befitting, I think I want to be sick." From the console she turned to look at the boy she could easily and without a doubt describe a Superman. Perhaps he was right, maybe she was to take him back in time to a place where he could introduce the idea or Superman to its original creators. He would never let her live that down.


	12. California Sun

California Sun

_'"Believe it or not," Maggie whispered. "I forgot how beautiful she was."'_

The sisters spy on their parents during a happier time of their lives.

Eilian – 20 years old

Margo/Maggie – 16 years old

* * *

The summer sun beat down on them in waves. Maggie's porcelain skin was lathered in sun cream while her sister Eilian lay unfazed beside her, honeyed skin enjoying the warmth. They were in California, 1947.

What happened two years prior was put behind them. Maggie still flinched when her sister was in a sour mood and Eilian still found it hard to talk about. Their father certainly would never treat them the same again. But it was done, gone, over. They weren't going there and that was enough.

"Do you think he'll be mad?" Maggie asked quietly as she lifted her large brimmed sunhat just out of her eyes. She had a desire not to be burnt or to taint her pale skin in anyway, Eilian wasn't the most confident observer of her sisters succession.

Eilian shrugged. He probably would. Their father would be mad if he knew what they were doing. But he didn't and he probably wouldn't. "I was thinking about moving out here. I mean, I have mum's vortex manipulator and I think that's enough for me. There's only one TARDIS and you're only sixteen. I can't honestly kick you and dad out of the TARDIS. Besides, he will be around forever and he's always liked you better than me. I'm wayward and misguided, the old girl would much rather you as well."

"She always listened to you, Eli." Maggie reminded her softly. But her sister was right. Their father was a god that would keep on living long after the 12-year-old face he insisted on had faded. His face would keep changing, so would his attitudes and perhaps it was best if his daughter's took a back seat and allowed him to do what he did. But the TARDIS always listed to the oldest Song daughter, no matter what and thus Eilian probably owed the old girl her life.

Eilian shrugged again. "I think she just listened to mum. Child of the TARDIS and all." Eilian opened her eyes behind her sunglasses in time to catch her sister struggling to catch the straw in her drink between her teeth. "Right there?" Maggie laughed.

"I'm fine thank you." Maggie nodded, as she finally caught the straw.

"Up for a swim?" They were on the beach after all and the beautiful water would surely go to waste on her pale and unbelievably English sister. Maggie shook her head as she made a comment about her hair. "You're worried about your hair? Please, Maggie. Look at you. All brunette and straight. You're worried?" Eilian tugged on the long strands of her own blonde curls. If there was one thing to still envy her sister over it was her hair; straight and beautifully behaved.

Getting up from the deck chair she sat on Maggie threw her sister a glare. "Shove off, Eli." She chuckled as she undid the sarong around her waist, to reveal the entirety of her retro red and white polka dotted one piece bathing suit before she walked towards the water. "Are you coming?" Maggie shouted from the water's edge as she looked up to her sister standing on the edge of the patio to her little home.

The sun washed over them, threatening freckles on Maggie's skin as Eilian lazed about in the water without a care. "You said they would be here." Maggie spoke, looking over at her sister who was floating on top of the still water.

Eilian hushed her sister as she scanned her eyes along the beach. She knew they would be there, she had heard them. They saved the world again and River Song had made a comment about the beach. They went to the beach the following day, somewhere in the Caribbean. But Eilian had overheard her parents' hushed talk of this beach on this very day.

Her mother was unreachable now, saved into the universes biggest library. And their father; he still took them on adventures, loved them, treasured them the same as the day they were born. He now knew things on Eilian's psyche that no one wanted to know. She was a little more fragile on that front. But they were fine. They were normal.

"There!" She put her feet on the watery sand bed as she grabbed her sisters arm and pointed towards a neighbouring house's patio. They weren't there two seconds ago and the TARDIS could not be seen – vortex manipulator – Eilian concluded as she watched her mother lean against her father, head thrown back mid laugh.

Soot covered her mother's beautiful face and ash found temporary home in her brilliant curls. But it was her mother, living and moving of her own accord. No database was holding her down. She was free.

"Believe it or not," Maggie whispered. "I forgot how beautiful she was." Eilian hummed in agreement. They weren't the only ones on the beach or in the water, so she knew that both Maggie and herself were free to keep an eye on their parents as they themselves enjoyed the California sun. "Do you think I could talk to her?" Eilian shook her head. Definitely not. "Just a few words?" Her voice was far off as she watched her father splash River by the water's edge and then take off in a run. "Please Eli. We know him. He will get her so drenched she'll be mad. Just let me offer her a towel." She had started wading through the water now, moving to head back to their deck chairs on the patio but Eilian caught her hand.

"Maggie, no. It's not clever or smart. You can go, but don't speak to them. You're here to watch. A reminder that they were happy, that they always will be." Maggie nodded slowly as Eilian's fingers unwound from her wrist. She heard her sisters words but if the opportunity presented itself she would take it.

And sure enough it happened. Half an hour after Eilian came in from the water and disappeared to start dinner in the house River Song stopped, drenched from head to toe only a few feet in front of her daughter. She was laughing and Maggie could have sworn that she made the world turn. "Here." She offered getting up from her place a spare beach towel in hand. "Looks like you'll need this more than I do. Looks like you and your husband have been together for a while." She commented softly as River thankfully took the offered piece of linen.

"Oh, centuries dear! We've practically been to the end of the universe and back." She ginned cheekily unbeknownst that the girl knew exactly how long and how far they had been together. They turned to pay attention to the man a little further down the beach who was jumping up and down trying to get his wife's attention.

"Do you have children?" She asked unsure as to why she brought that into conversation. "They must think him grand!" Maggie couldn't help her grin as she watched her father mess around on the beach. She turned her attention to River watching as her own smile filled her face at the thought of her daughters tucked into bed. To River Eilian and Margo were only seven and three.

River nodded "Two daughters both as brilliant as the next. I worry sometimes that I'm not enough for them and I know he worried that he is definitely not enough." The words spilled out before she could prevent herself from telling her worries to this young girl.

"I bet you're both brilliant," she stopped, her voice caught in her throat. Someone had called her name but she hadn't quite caught it.

"Mags?!" The voice called again and this time it was Eilian. "Are you coming in?"

She smiled softly at River, her hands holding tightly to her sarong "Well, my sister calls. It was nice meeting you, River. Keep the towel if you want." With that she ran back inside leaving a bewildered River Song behind her.

How had the girl known her name? She couldn't possibly have been her own daughter just a lot more grown up. Impossible. River shook her head, towel in her hands and she took a deep breath and moved to join her husband further down the beach.

"What were you doing?" Eilian asked when Maggie stepped through the back door. The youngest Song shrugged her shoulders and grinned. "You didn't," Eilian's voice dropped. "Margaret Avery Song! What did I tell you? Don't speak to them."

Maggie shrugged a second time, her hands playing with the fabric around her waist. She didn't regret what she did, she kind of felt pleased about it, if she was honest. "Do you remember what it feels like when memories are changed?" Eilian nodded, there had been a few occasions where their father had done something in their past to alter their present, not on purpose though but she remembered the tingle of an oncoming memory she really didn't remember happening. "I think mum, where ever she is, saved into that datacore will be having one of those feelings and smiling. She'll know it was us. I know she will." Eilian wanted to reprimand her sister for what she had done, but the thought of her mother so lonely and without her children suddenly connecting the dots in running into an older version of her child she never got to see.

It would make sense to River Song and for Margaret that was a good deed done.


	13. Eilian

Eilian

The day their eldest daughter was born.

Eilian – 8 hours

* * *

He had to take a step back.

He had to breathe.

In one swift moment it felt as though his entire being would go under and in the next he realized he could breathe again.

Why he had not thought about it before was startling but there had been so much caught in his old mind that the existence of his daughter was something that simply was. It mattered still. And it was an ever present knock in his mind that reminded him that he was not alone, not any more. And sure, he had had River long before his newly born little daughter, but he never had her in this sense.

He had not known she was pregnant when she brought up children and thus he had initially dismissed the idea quite negatively and would have continued to do so if she wasn't already in a state of being with child. She cried and he had known not why. He thought she was just mad about what would never be, not mad because she already found herself in a state she could not wilfully undo. She had put it down to anger over his dismissing of their child but he could never disregard something the two of them had made in a moment of love and wonder. She realized that when he found out. The ancient man's negativity melted away. Its origins were buried in a fear of everything he had lost and the things he would lose again. He could not let that be his child and he would not let her live a similar fate. He had to explain (laced throughout an apology) to his wife about the fears that drove him, about the origins of these fears that started on a burning Gallifrey.

The two of them had come so far since then. They were not two anymore but three and he held no regret towards the creation of his daughter even though haunting daemons stalked the edges of his dreams in the little time he had them. And he had wished his wife had been in better health by the time of delivery, she nearly lost her life in the process of their daughter's birth and he was completely helpless in aiding her. The best the man could do was rush her to the aid of The Sisters of the Infinite Schism and watch as they shoved him out of the room.

That had been twelve hours ago.

River Song was alive, awake and well. This woman was his wife, of course she was well. She was someone who strived to keep him guessing and now, lying in a spectacularly bland hospital bed, she had become the mother of his child. His daughter. His moment in time that would never be forgotten.

He watched from his place by the window as a nurse spoke to her about the importance of latching while the little girl in the nurses' arms cried to be fed.

Thunder rolled in the distance as rain fell in soft pats against the window, dreary, dead sky met with life giving light where the curtains opened. The thunder growled angrily at its lost opportunity towards entrapping another victim in its permanent sorrow. He had come so close to being stuck in that darkness but the light was on, his wife and daughter were alive.

River's gasp of a laugh pulled the Doctor out of his thoughts. His wife sat across from him her back straight and her face drained of its usual colour, but she was smiling and laughing as their tiny baby latched to her breast instinctively. The awe on his wife's face made his heart soar and all together plummet. She came so close to not being able to do this; so close to not being able to take another breath let alone hold their daughter and marvel over her as she fed.

He couldn't help but notice how young his River looked, so innocent and pure as she laughed at the feeding child while she stroked her soft little cheek with her index finger. This was the epitome of life. Love. Being treasured before you're even properly known. That unconditional love that is there no matter what. His mind flashed to the times his bespoke psychopath had tried to kill him, the time she succeeded, in theory, and then he looked at her now. They had come so far. Travelled for so long. And now they had a daughter. A child he had once confessed he did not want. A life he had once deemed impossible.

River Song always knew how to prove him wrong. She was a Pond after all and her stubborn streak was something he knew would never go away, not that he would ever wish such a thing.

His stomach clenched and the smile on his face disappeared. What if it was all to go wrong? He knew of forces who would do to his child as they had done to his wife. He had known of their desire to take his child from him the moment his pregnant wife started to show. The Doctor tried his best to shield her from the threats and daunting pressure but a small part of him knew she knew no matter how hard he tried to hide it. The Doctor knew there was no point in worrying, that nothing and no one would ever try to take his child away from River Song and live to tell the tale in this life or the next. It didn't stop the worry that crept up the back of his spine. The threat was still present no matter his determination and in her ill and recovering state he could be certain that she would be helpless to prevent the kidnapping of their daughter.

This, this fear, this constant tapping at the base of his skull was a reason (of many) behind his distain towards having children. He was the last of his kind and forces that were against his would most certainly stop at nothing to acquire Time Lord DNA in order to stop the Doctor. What better weapon than his own daughter?

But no one came. And they never would.

He stood quietly as he took it all in with undefeatable awe. When the baby was once again settled the nurse removed her from River's arms with a statement of 'check-ups' before she left the room. River's shoulders slumped immediately and her face lost a few more shades of colouring. The Doctor jumped to her side, his voice stuck in his throat as he helped her sit properly. "Go with her." She told him quietly, the energy drained from her completely. "Go with our baby. Nothing can happen to her." He nodded surely before jumping up from the side of the bed, calling for the nurse as he reached the door.

"Could, could I take her perhaps? River had a few more questions." The Doctor was so shy when he spoke, like an awed child terrified to make the wrong impression on someone they had just met. He stood awkwardly, his feet turned in and his back slightly bent. The nurse looked him over knowing that he hadn't held his child yet, but perhaps the very part of his stance that screamed _clums_y was exactly why he hadn't asked. She couldn't see a problem in it and had wanted to address some other concerns with River privately, happily the catlike nurse handed the baby over and gave directions on where to go. The Doctor didn't turn around to look at his sickly wife but he could feel her eyes on his back as he cradled the incredibly small child, his daughter, for the first time.

The Doctor knew it was best not to loiter by the door and the quicker he took the baby where they needed her to be, the quicker he could get her back to her ailing mother. "She's a lot stronger than this, my love." He whispered as he kissed the baby's little forehead. He felt the need to defend his wife's weakness, even to their newborn. "You've just changed a lot of things in our lives and your dear old mum is going to need some time to adjust. She's not well, little one and we need to look after her. You need to be a good girl, patient, kind, thoughtful," he raised his arm to bring her a little closer to his face "and between you and me, I wouldn't mind if you were as feisty as your old mum." The Doctor swore that he had seen a flicker of a smile play across her rosebud lips, but he knew better than to think an infant of only a matter of hours old could hold the muscle strength and knowledge to do such a thing.

He handed his daughter over to the waiting nurse and watched on while his legs twitched for a run and his hands begged for something to mess with, he refused to move. He would stand his ground and watch over his daughter. He would make sure she was safe above everything else. Nothing would hurt her under his watch.

The Doctor stood stock still as he watched the nurse go about taking the baby's measurements and heart rate for the fourth time since she was born. There was worry concerning the girl's health and that being that it was unknown. Her mother wasn't full Time Lord, but her father was. A number of things could still go wrong in her genetic make-up and the sisters were trying their best to ensure nothing did.

Once back in his arms the man intended to return to his wife's room. He was worried about her, they nearly lost her in the birthing suit and he wouldn't risk it happening again. He knew she didn't leave him this day, they still had The Library to face and a small voice in the back of his head told him about the second infant he had held in their home before he even knew there was going to be a possibility of the first. That thought always managed to hide itself away at important times.

Taking a deep breath he stepped back in the room his shoulders even and his daughter tucked warmly into his arm. "River." He breathed seeing her still awake, colour returning to her face. Silently she held her arms out for the baby with a soft smile, something that seemed to be frozen to her features. She looked so at peace, at ease with their tiny bundle. He hated to think that there would be times in their lives, adventures and fears that would ruin this serenity but for now, all was right in the universe.

"Eilian Marie" She whispered to the baby with tears in her eyes. Pulling her gaze from her daughter River looked up to her husband. "I want to name her Eilian." The Doctor nodded silently.

_Moment in time_. Only a name with that meaning would ever be suitable for his child. He loved it and her whispered words to the tiny baby about her name melted his heart and once again put his fears at bay. "Doctor?" River asked softly still eyeing little Eilian. He hummed in response, his large hand spanning his daughter's head, possibly twice over. "I thought you could speak baby."

The Doctor harked loud enough to cause the infant in his wife's arms to startle. "I could never understand my own children. I guess it just makes parenting easy if we could." He laughed a little softer, his finger stroking Eilian's cheek in an attempt to apologize for the rude awakening. "Although, she told me she wanted this." The curly haired five-year-old was standing at his side when he pulled the Barbie out of his pocket. "I've been carrying it around for what seems like a millennia, perhaps it is best if she has it now." He waited years, hundreds of them just to find an accidental moment to get the doll back to the eager little girl. She had seen her planets and saved the day, just as the little one had asked. "Perhaps we could put it away for her, when she gets a bit bigger?" He asked shyly, his hand running over the faux blonde hair on the plastic dolls head. River nodded softly, knowing there was more to the doll than what he was letting on, but it was safe. "Back where she belongs." He mused, smiling to himself and the memory of his daughter. She got her dolly back after so many years.

He took a step back River's attention on their daughter again whispering something about perfection while she refused to look away. They were happy and for the moment nothing was going to ruin that.

In later years he would wonder where it all went wrong. How this tiny perfect in every way bundle could cause so much havoc and bring her family so much heartache from her own two hands alone.


	14. The Universe Keeps Moving, Life Goes On

The Universe Keeps Moving, Life Goes On

'"_Who are you?" Eilian asked as she stood with the girls' bag._

_She shook her chestnut curls an all knowing smile on her face. "You'll find out another day, Eilian Marie." She smiled brilliantly as she held out Eilian's bag with both hands in front of her.'_

On their own Eilian and Maggie run into two rather puzzling people. Their real identities unknown to the girls.

Eilian – 18 years old

Margaret – 14 years old

* * *

They had found an old tower not too far from their father's latest discovery or whatever he was messing with, and he _was_ messing, his daughters knew it. There was nothing particularly wrong with this part of countryside Europe, the year was relatively bland, although there might have been a few colonies interested in human sacrifice, but he hadn't known that – Margaret was sure – he was just bored.

Deciding that it was best to not be around when something went terribly wrong on his behalf – and it would – his daughter's both Eilian and Margaret in agreement left the TARDIS and ventured the fields. They weren't looking for anything just fresh air and a walk but they found something they hadn't expected in the midst of trees and covered in growing moss. Eilian was scaling its surface within a second, Chuck Taylor's slipping against the damp wall as her fingers found purchase between the brick work.

Maggie watched, book under her arm. There was no way she would climb that thing not in what she was wearing. Eilian was the practical one when it concerned adventures; she wore Chuck Taylor's and pants, a leather jacket in a men's size too big for her and a messenger bag hanging tightly to her side. Eilian on the other hand, she was the more _formal _of the two sisters, in a floral patterned tea dress that hugged her just where it needed to. She was fourteen, but it was important to look presentable.

Something pushed at Maggie's back and ruffled the skirts around her knees. Snapping her head she found no one there but her sister and the small gathering of trees. Brushing a hand over her dress she felt it again this time the energy focusing on her legs as she was pushed to walk away from her sister and around the aging structure. Her hand skipped out to touch the cool of the wall before she looked up to find a small, steep set of stairs. Climbing them carefully in her ballet slippers Maggie found herself on the top of the rather high up structured tower Eilian was trying to climb. Walking carefully around the thick edge she found her sister still gripping at the wall, "Want a hand?" She asked smugly as she used one hand to lean down at the other to hold her skirts back.

"Shove. Off." Eilian huffed through gritted teeth as she heaved herself up at sat on the ledge. She sat still for a moment, just breathing as Margaret stood behind her the two of them admiring the secret place they had found.

Eilian took a step back from her sister as she admired the tower they were standing on, it was hollowed in the middle and she couldn't quite see the bottom but along the walls held windows of sorts and she could bet if she looked hard enough there would be something somewhere that would lead them behind the beautiful stone carved spaces. "What do you think it is? I mean, it's hidden away, these trees circle it, you see." She pointed to the trees around them as her sister shrugged. Eilian jumped up from the ledge and started to search through the bag hanging at her hip.

"I don't know, but I'm in need of an adventure." She pulled a flashlight out of her bag and grinned, "Over there looks like a good place to start." Eli grinned her eyes alight like wild fire as she pointed the flashlight in front of her, the stone was starting to slope. That would be the entrance.

Maggie didn't follow instead she stood still, book in hand as she watched her sister move gallantly towards the edge while she tapped the flashlight against her leg. Eli didn't need to say anything when she had noticed her sister's reluctance to move, instead she stood at the top of a long line of stairs, one foot on the first on the other above it as she watched her sister fight whatever interior battle she had come to face in that moment. "But mum's dead." Maggie whispered quietly her head turned to watch the trees instead of her sister. She bit her lip to prevent it from wobbling. It was still a hard road and adventures, the good ones always included mum. They couldn't just go on without her.

"Yes we can." Eli spoke alerting Maggie that she had said her thoughts aloud. "The universe keeps moving, life goes on. We can't sit around Margaret and hope that she is going to come back, she's not." After everything that happened she hated breaking her sister's heart. Sure, she had blamed her for their mothers death, her instance that River fix the library so she could go herself one day was stupid and childish, Eilian hated that but they moved past it. She didn't want to see her baby sister cry anymore, but sometimes she had to be honest.

"But we coul –" Raising her hand Eilian stopped her, she uttered 'enough' before stepping forward and wrapping her finger's around Maggie's wrist and pulling her along.

She hadn't seen her do it but Eilian had pulled out a spare flashlight and handed it to Maggie once the natural light started to strangle itself in the dark. Maggie switched on the flashlight as she asked a question she knew Eli wouldn't have the answer for. "I don't know," She responded "but I'd say we wouldn't find anything harsher than Silurian's and we know Aunt Vastra so even then we'll be fine." Walking in front of her Maggie wasn't convinced. The woman in question, Madame Vastra donned 'aunt' lived in another century. She could not protect them here and even if she could she would teach them a lesson first.

Even with the flashlights on it was still dark enough to make Margaret uncomfortable, she hated the dark, always had. She stepped cautiously down the steps with half the mind to hum to herself, she knew Eilian was behind her, she could hear her sister but she still felt alone in that space.

She was lost in her thoughts when the air crackled and snapped with electricity, a light flashed in front of them and with a sharp squeal Maggie found herself on her back and someone or something touching her leg. Maggie shrieked again as she reached for the flashlight that had fallen out of her hand. Someone slipped against her shoulder and she knew it was Eilian who had undoubtedly fallen when Maggie had. Unlike Maggie, Eli hadn't lost her flashlight. "You okay, Maggie?" She asked pulling herself up while she pointed the flashlight at her sister's face. The girl pointed to her feet where the weight there was shifting. "Get off my sister." Eilian hissed as she raised the flashlight to two similar faces.

"I'm sorry – I just – we weren't - Oh, bugger. I'm so sorry!" One of the faces stuttered back, a girl by the tell of her voice. She clambered up off Maggie along with the other body next to her continuing to utter apologies. "Gosh, are you okay? I'm such a klutz. Sorry." She bent down to pick something up her silhouette only shaped roughly and then with a flash of light she and the body beside her were gone.

"What just happened?" Maggie whispered bewildered as Eilian moved to pull her up.

"I have no idea." Eilian stepped passed her sister to pick up the messenger bag Maggie had dropped before she wrapped her arm around her sister's side and helped her climb back to the top.

They left the tower alone after that, instead optioning for a lone tree where they could still spot the TARDIS from while they lay under it in the warming sun.

"Eli?" Maggie's voice was worried. Eilian hummed. "You know how I had your bag so I could put my book away?" Another hum. "And then I fell over? Well, I dropped the bag. My book isn't in it."

Pulling her arms over her eyes Eilian groaned. "We're not going back for your book." She said flat out practically sensing the question in her sister who valued books a little more than actual life.

"But mum gave me that book."

"We will get you another one, Maggie. Calm down."

Margaret shook her head as she sat on her knees beside her sister, messenger bag in front of her. "It's not the same, Mum gave that one to me it was special. Eilian?" She questioned again knowing that her sister's attention would be lost if she continued to act like a frightened child. "It's not the only thing gone." Maggie whimpered causing Eilian to pull her arm away from her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Your stuff isn't in here." She said as though it was the easiest thing to understand. You had other things in here, your journal , mums vortex manipulator you had stuff in here Eli, they're not there." Eilian searched her sister's eyes with a terrified panic.

She shook her head. "No. Those things can't have just fallen out, they have to be in there Maggie." Eilian sat up and reached for the bag rummaging through it desperately hoping that she could find her things. Locking her fingers around something she believed was her journal Eilian was met with someone else's instead. "This isn't mine." She held it up for Maggie.

Margaret took the journal and with interest flipped the cover open. "Delilah Sa –" She began to read but was cut off.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it was rude to read someone's journal?" A voice sounded beside the sisters. Turning Eilian and Margaret were greeted with the face of the girl in the tower, this time with the rest of her body. "We got these confused in the dark, I thought it was best we got the right ones back. He doesn't agree." She pointed to the boy standing beside her, his dirty blonde hair contrasted her chestnut curls but their dark green eyes matched perfectly. They looked like normal kids, twins Maggie assumed. But they acted like they knew so much more and their appearance in the tower suggested they didn't originate from planet Earth. "But, it's dangerous if we have each other stuff."

"Who are you?" Eilian asked as she stood with the girls' bag.

She shook her chestnut curls an all knowing smile on her face. "You'll find out another day, Eilian Marie." She smiled brilliantly as she held out Eilian's bag with both hands in front of her. The boy beside her stiffened, she had gone too far with her words.

Eilian shook her head. "No, see now you have to tell us your names. You know mine, that's hardly fair.

"For all you know I could have gone through your journal, like your sister went through mine." The girl shrugged. Okay, so Eilian did have her name – Delilah.

Eli sighed heavily. "Yeah, well she's an idiot but she is my sister." Her face pinched in frustration. "She has this need to know things and I don't know, books fly into the palm of her hand. I didn't read it, neither did she." Eilian huffed again, her hands clenching by her sides. "Tit for tat don't you think? We just want your names."

Delilah's eyes grew darker as she unceremoniously let go of Eilian's bag leaving it to crash to the ground while she stepped around it and stanched her own journal out of Maggie's hands and then her bag from Eilian. The girl had a temper but she had met her match in the older girl who would not relent. Bag passed to the boy beside her Delilah tucked a stay curl behind her ear before opening her journal to the page Maggie had been on.

"Delilah Sage and Lennox Augustus, I find last names easily changeable so that hardly matters." She licked her finger before turning a few more pages with a superior air. "Is that enough? Life stories really have to wait." Eilian nodded, it was enough for now and if the girl was true to her word they would meet again. "Nice seeing you Eilian" She nodded to the older girl, "Margaret" Delilah, for her tilted her head and gave a small curtsey before tapping on her arm, taking hold of her brothers arm and disappearing.

"Today keeps getting worse." Maggie moaned as she fell back on the grass her hands above her head.

"Dad hasn't done anything incredibly wrong by the looks of it, so you have that to look forward too." Eilian teased as she rifled through her bag checking that everything was in its place. "Who do you think they were?" She asked half-heartedly, to be honest she wanted to put it all behind her and never think about Delilah and Lennox again.

Finding what she was looking for Eilian tossed her sister's book at her. Moving her arms Maggie ran her hands over the book before she clutched it to her chest like a life line. Maggie hummed softly the usually sound of her thought process about to become audible. "Mum wasn't well before she left, remember?" Maggie spoke knowing that she did not need to refer to which time her mother left the both knew she meant the last time. Eilian shrugged. She didn't really remember much. "You and I, the both of us. We told her she shouldn't go she was sick, Eli, fatigued I caught her vomiting a few times. She looked like a mess but she wouldn't postpone the expedition. Do you – I wonder, I wonder if she was pregnant?"

"What?!" Eilian shrieked beside her sister. "No." She shook her head violently. She wouldn't think about it. No. "Mum, no. Maggie, no. She's dead, if she was pregnant when she left, well I hate to break it to you but that kid wouldn't be alive."

"Just think about it, Eli." Maggie stressed, she knew her sister wouldn't listen she wouldn't let the thought cross her mind at all. "She was so excited when dad turned up,"

Eli stopped her. "We're always excited when he turns up. We hardly saw him! They are married, they love each other. They are allowed to be excited to see the other without an ulterior motive."

"Just think about it, Eli" Maggie repeated.

Eilian snapped back at her sister, frustration boiling through. "There is nothing to think about. Our mother is dead Margaret, she is _dead_ there is no chance that she has any other children. Those kids, those kids were messing with you, they obviously know us from somewhere and they were messing with us! Trust me, we'll all have a good laugh about it in a few years." By this point Eilian was standing, her bag slung back over her shoulder where it should have been all along.

Margaret wasn't about ready to give up, "But she had a journal. Like ours, her name said 'Song', it was Mum's handwriting, I swear!" She moved to sit on her knees while she looked up at her sister pleading for her to just _listen_.

"Did it, or are you making that up? You're seeing things that aren't there, false hope where there isn't any. Mum's gone. That's final." Readjusting her bag strap Eilian took off for the TARDIS only to be stopped by her father covered in …_ something_ neither girl could place but his school boy amusement told them that nothing had gone wrong, yet. Eilian took one look at her father, fists clenched by her sides and screamed before walking away from him.

Maggie stood where she had once been laying, her mother's book pressed to her chest as she watched The Doctor approach. "She made me promise to kill her when she started acting like before. I don't know whether this is the same but I would enjoy her breathing stopping for a little while." The Doctor's brow knitted, how did one respond to that? Shaking her head Maggie tilted her face and smiled sweetly. "Delilah and Lennox are nice names." She fished but got no reaction from her father.

He shrugged, "I suppose. What's this for again?" He hopped that he hadn't promised his daughter a pet the TARDIS would not be pleased with. He had a habit of forgetting these things or being tricked into them, he really didn't know anymore.

Maggie shrugged pleasantly before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. "Never mind, daddy." She grinned before looking him up and down in disgust. "I'm going to go back to the TARDIS before the villagers here claim their sacrifice." His face fell as she started to walk away. Mouthing 'sacrifice' The Doctor's mind clicked.

"There's this Resort on …" He called out to an already laughing Maggie who knew she had her father beat. The place that the resort was on didn't matter to her nor did her father's childish antics, she wasn't thinking about the catty Delilah and her silent brother Lennox nor had Eilian's own temper slipped back into her mind, it was the fact that her father wanted to take them somewhere. Somewhere where she knew things would go pleasantly wrong.

As it turned out, Eilian had been right. The universe kept moving she just had to realize that for a second before life in the TARDIS with her ancient father could go on. And sure maybe she did worry about her mother a little, but there had been an end to that even if the mystery was still rolling.

* * *

_Okay firstly - Delilah and Lennox, don't ask. I really don't know. They really haven't cemented themselves in my mind so really who knows who they could be or when they are from. (I should know that, but I don't. Can I call creative ficlet licence on this one? probably not) _

_Anyway I have about 20 or so of these sitting on my computer hard drive, incomplete. Please, please, please let me know what you're thinking. Because some of these are really bad and you know maybe you're looking for something in particular. Tell me, I'll see what I can do. But yes, big thing. Tell me where I can improve please, 'cause some days I have no idea what I'm doing. :) _

_Thank you to those of you still reading these. _

_Also, is anyone interested in a list of the fics in chronological order for Eilian? I put one together so I knew what I was doing. I can add it to the start of the collection and update it when I add new ones. Cool? _

_Annaliese_


	15. 1948

1948

"_If River's their mother that means I'm their …" Amy stopped and her face fell with mild disgust. "grandmother."_

The world faces destruction yet again and River hides her children away in the folds of time. Leaving them on a doorstep in 1948 to people who didn't even know of the little girls' existence but where now newly charged with their care.

Eilian – Five years old

Margaret – One year old

* * *

Everything was falling apart, nothing and nowhere was safe and yet her husband was assuring her that he could fix it all in no time. The sky turned red and the stars started to fade. She did what she had to do to protect her girls and even though she knew it was right part of her hated herself for doing it.

This was why having children was a bad idea. There was so much at stake.

"River! River?!" The Doctor's voice bounded up the stairs and through the nursery door. She didn't move to tell him where she was, he would find her soon enough. She could hear the panic in his voice as he called for her undoubtedly sticking his head into every crevice of her little home in hope of finding both her and the girls.

But the girls weren't there.

Relief flooded across his face momentarily when he found River sitting on a rocking chair in the pastel coloured nursery. The pinks, greens, yellows and blues all looked dead when mixed with the stark burgundy light that was filtering in from the melting atmosphere. The joy of this room, his daughter's room was gone, replaced with burning loss and destruction.

River sat alone on the rocking chair she had bought when pregnant with Eilian, there had been so many times he caught her sleeping in that chair, babe in her arms both of them peaceful. There was nothing peaceful to her slumped shoulders and downcast face this time. In her hands she held a patchwork blanket that belonged to Eilian and a small furry bear that Margo didn't miss a night of sleep without. "I said she couldn't take it." Her nimble fingers picked at the threating on the blanket, inner turmoil spilling out onto the fabric. "Why would I do that? She's upset enough and I wouldn't let her take it." River didn't need to look up at her husband for his panicked mind to know that she was crying.

Crouching down in front of her The Doctor put his shaking hands on her knees. They needed to get out, they had a planet to save, but he had to do this first. He had to know what had happened to his kids. The entire planet had gone into lockdown, terrifying authorities were taking control and The Doctor worried that there had been a chance they removed Eilian and Margaret from their mother's care.

"Where are they, River? My girls, our girls, where are they?" His voice was shaking. Damn the destruction of the planet, he wanted his daughters and he could not understand why they weren't there.

River let out a soft cry. "They're safe. I can't tell you where, but they are safe."

[...]

…Earlier…

…New York, 1948…

Her hands were trembling as she wrapped Eilian's little fingers around the handles of her sister's Moses basket. "You be good, okay?" She tried to warn with a stern tone but it came through shaky and cracked instead. She was terrified this was her only option and even then it was not assured that her children would be completely safe from the harm that was hunting both the woman and her husband.

Eilian watched her mother fuss with worried eyes. She didn't know what was going on and at five years of age she wasn't being offered an explanation. In her mother's defence the girl didn't need to know that the destruction of the planet was fast approaching and she was being sent away, to the past in hopes that if they could not stop what was happening her girls could still live to alright age before it all happened.

"You are going to be very good do you hear me Eilian Marie?" The girl nodded as River crouched in front of her and straightened out her coat for the fourth time. "Good girl." She kissed her daughter's cheek with clouded eyes but refused to let the tears fall. "I trust these people, Eilian. They mean a lot to both me and dad." The girl nodded again her own green eyes turning glassy with the possible intrusion of tears.

River kissed Eilian's cheek one last time before she did the same to a sleeping Margo. She knocked heavily thrice on the TARDIS blue door before stepping off the front steps and using her vortex manipulator to disappear.

The door swung open with a man's heavy laugh but it halted with apprehension towards the appearance on his door step. "Amy!" Rory Williams called over his shoulder as he stood stock still staring at the two children in front of him.

"What, Rory? Who is it?" Amy stopped behind her husband, young boy on her hip as she too stared at the blonde haired little girl and the sleeping child in front of her.

Bending down Eilian pulled a note out of her sister's basket. "Mum said this was for you." She extended her arm out to Amy. Amy took the note but not before she noticed the girl shiver.

"Come on, sweetie. Let's get the two of you warmed up." With a nod Rory stepped forward and picked up the basket trying hard not to disturb the sleeping child while Eilian followed Amy cautiously into the house eyeing off the little boy in his mother's arms while she tried to take everything else in as well. "Do you want something to drink, are you hungry?" Amy fussed as she put the boy down on the floor and watched Eilian delicately sit on the edge of the couch her eyes on her sister as Rory put the basket down next to the end of the piece of furniture. Eilian shuffled over immediately leaning over the arm so she could check protectively over her sister.

Rory sat down next to her. "What's your name?" Eilian looked at him blankly for a second.

"It's probably on that letter." She pointed to the letter in Amy's hand.

"You don't know your name?" Eilian shook her head and rolled her eyes as she told him that she did in fact know her name. "Why don't you tell me then?" He was being soft with her, he loved children and there was something so endearing, so fragile and familiar about this girl that he just wanted to scoop her up and hold her until it all went away.

Eilian had returned to eye off the boy on the floor as he played happily with this toys crashing them together to make a loud noise. He seemed all too pleased with himself and for some reason that irritated the young girl. "What is his name?" She asked pointing.

"Anthony. That's Amy and I'm Rory." He answered before she could ask any more questions.

Seeing that she was beat, Eilian sighed. "My name is Eilian." She waited a moment knowing that they also wanted Margo's name but she wasn't to absorbed in the idea on giving away both hers and her sister's information to strangers. No matter how much her mother said that she trusted them. Eilian huffed, giving in. "She's my sister Margaret." Rory smiled brilliantly, thanking the girl with warm words.

"Rory?" Amy's voice shook from the other side of the room, letter open in her lap. "Rory, a minute?" The man stood to follow his wife while he softly assured the young girl that they would be in the hall if she needed anything. Amy didn't give her husband the chance to breath in the hallway before she was holding up the letter in her hand. "_River_." She whispered, the paper shaking with her own anxiety. "River's their mother." Rory shook his head.

"No," He laughed giving his wife the opportunity to take back what she said. "No, Amy. Our daughter did not have two children and not tell us."

"Oh, but she did." Amy's voice was still a whisper as she thrust the letter into her disbelieving husband's hand. She wasn't upset with her daughter; she hardly had a right to be. They kept contact and River did come to visit but Amy understood the importance of withholding information as a time traveller. Although some part of her was a little upset that her daughter withheld her grandchildren from her. "If River's their mother that means I'm their …" Amy stopped and her face fell with mild disgust. "grandmother." In hopes of comforting his wife enough to finish reading his daughter's note in silence Rory's hand found purchase on Amy's shoulder while she quietly argued that she was far too young to be a grandmother.

The living room door creaked open before either of them could continue their discussion. Eilian's blonde curls framed her worried face as her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, "Miss Amy?" she began causing the Williams' to wonder how they did not place her DNA heritage earlier. "I would really like to go home now." Eilian's eyebrows knitted and her bottom lip trembled. She was holding back her tears but to the on looking adults they were there anyway.

"You can't do that right now, sweetie." Amy had crouched down in front of the girl she now knew to title as granddaughter. "How about we go somewhere instead, hey? We were going to take Anthony to the Zoo does that sound good?" The usually headstrong child looked everywhere in the hallway but directly at Amy and Rory as her shoe covered foot toed at the wood floor.

Eilian contemplated Amy's question unsure how to answer the strange woman. Her mother had always insisted on the matters of stranger danger, Eilian thought it hardly mattered Leadworth was a small town, everyone knew everyone and when she went on adventures with her father he made sure that she was safe. Stranger danger was hardly a factor at all. But here, standing in the hallway belonging to a strange house in 1948 with people her mother told her to trust. Eilian could not honestly be more frightened. "I've been to the Zoo before and the museum and the flower show and the farmers market …" her list went on to include the school grounds and shady descriptions of intergalactic fairgrounds and other such nonsense that was in fact not nonsense at all.

Amy grinned at the girl when she paused to take a breath, blonde curls swaying with her own hurried speech. "Do you know what?" She started her Scottish accent still thick as she bopped the girl on the nose playfully. "I believe you. You know I once was on a star whale that had the whole of London on its back." Eilian's eyes grew wide, she had been yet to hear the story of Starship U.K. and Amelia Pond on her first space adventure. But, as a quickly as the light appeared it disappeared too. So many people in Leadworth played along with her stories that she didn't know if this Amy was one to trust or not. But her mother _had_ said to trust her.

"My daddy is The Doctor." Eilian piped up her tone back to cheerful but when talking about the Doctor when his presence wasn't accountable at that moment usually accounted for sorrow in one's speech. Eilian was no exception. "Do you know him?" She was full of hope when she asked her question, Amy could be just another resident of Leadworth but the shadow that crossed her face as she smiled sweetly at Eilian told the little girl that she knew exactly who The Doctor was. "That's probably what mummy's letter says. When things go wrong it's usually his fault." She shrugged seemingly ignoring Rory's eye roll and Amy's laugh. They couldn't help themselves. It was true. The Doctor was seemingly always the root of every problem, not that he could help it.

In the other room Margaret squawked, reminding the adults that they had left the sleeping baby alone in a room with three-year-old Anthony. Amy left Eilian to check on the boy and now crying child. Eilian tugged on Rory's sleeve catching the man's attention with the soft tug. "I would really like to go to the Zoo, Mr Rory."

It took them an hour and a half to finally leave the house and drive to Central Park Zoo but once they did Amy and Rory were finally comfortable in the swing of carting around three children in various stages of their own difficulties.

Eilian was baffled with the world around her and from Rory's side, her hand curled around the cuff of his coat she did not dare run off like the other children around her but stayed loyal to the man she really had no clue about. "What do you want to look at first?" He asked as he crouched down beside the girl with wild curls. When Eilian shyly pointed to the metal enclosure that held lions Amy announced that she would take the two smaller children to see the bears – the impatient Anthony's favourite.

Rory didn't hesitate with the girl at all, he found a quick connection with his granddaughter, one he wished that he could have built with his own daughter when she was this young. But alas that was stolen from him and he made do with what he had.

Reaching the enclosure Rory lifted Eilian up onto the rail in front of it allowing for her to get a closer look from a little higher up.

She watched in awe, through metal bars at the creature stalking its confides. "Sometimes I feel like that." She whispered, little hand coming out to stroke the metal bars. Rory asked her what she meant which caused the little girls' body to jolt. She didn't think he heard him. "Like I have bigger jobs to do. Like I'm more important than being stuck here." He had to contemplate her sophisticated words for a second before he braced his arms on the rail and heaved a sign.

"I think a lot of people feel that way. Sometimes we just can't find what we're supposed to do. Amy and I, we're not supposed to be here. In 1948." Eilian nodded, she knew she didn't know how but she knew. "Now, dear heart." Rory began again, a confirmation clearing in his mind as he moved to look her in the eye. Even though he knew he would, Rory couldn't stop himself from being shocked towards how much of River he could see in her. She had the Doctor's old soul but everything else was her mothers. He didn't want to lie to this girl or to cause her upset so instead he decided on honesty, unsure as to where it would get him. "Did your mum tell you who Amy and I were?" Eilian shook her head, bottom lip curling. "I'm your granddad."

There was no comment of '_you are too young to be my granddad'_ or '_but you are from another time_', just a simple shake of the head and a giggled, "I already gots a granddad." Eilian kicked her legs playfully as she failed to notice Rory's confusion. "His name is Agus-gus." Her mouth curved as she yet again failed the pronunciation.

Rory's face fell and simultaneously brightened. "Eilian, do you know a man named Brian?" She nodded eagerly.

"He's my Great Pops. My dad calls him 'Night Guard Williams' 'cause he watches me real good."

"W-w-what is he like?" Rory's voice shook.

"He is _real_ nice. I help him water the plants. He does that a lot. Waters the plants that is. Do you water plants lots? It seems strange." She had cocked her head to the side like a confused puppy, her lip between her teeth as she waited for Rory's response.

He shook his head. "I don't water plants a lot. But, um, Brian. Eilian. Do you know what granddad's are?" She titled her head again before shaking it in the negative. Come to think of it, she didn't really know. Her grandparents just _were_. She never questioned why or how. "Okay, so my dad. He is Anthony's granddad and any of my children will be his grandchildren." She nodded, following along and only slightly being distracted by the man carrying balloons behind him. "Anthony is my son, but I also have a daughter."

"Where is she?" Eilian asked eager for another playmate.

"She's your mother." Rory answered simply knowing that the girls attention was feigning.

Eilian locked eyes with the man in front of her, the balloons out of the question for a moment while she cocked an eyebrow confused. Rory didn't move to help her until she verbalized a question. But she didn't. Five seconds passed. Fifteen. And finally Eilian spoke. "Can I get a balloon, granddad?" She asked sweetly wriggling to get off the banister she was sitting on.

Letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding Rory nodded helping her down before wandering over to the balloon stall.

They remained at the Zoo for another two hours each adult taking turns with Eilian and prying her away from the engaged lion. She was enthralled by the creature and its entrapment, and didn't stop talking about it until long after she had fallen asleep tucked into the guest bedroom of the Williams house. Occasional she whispered something from her dreams and both grandparents could get it had something to do with setting the creature free.

"What do you think is happening?" Amy asked after she herself had climbed under the covers of her own bed. All three children finally tucked in and snoring. She was worried about her daughter and her Raggedy Doctor.

Rory shrugged next to her as he put the book he was reading down. "I don't know. But it's bad enough that Melody felt the need to spring her children on us and run without doing introductions herself."

Amy shivered. "Do you think maybe he's done something? Something to her, I mean. The TARDIS would be the safest place for those girls, hell I could think of all numbers of places that would be safe for them before us. Yet she brought them to us without even saying hello."

"I am sure everything is fine. It's probably just some world destroying monster, not the Doctor himself. Besides, Amy they are River Song and The Doctor, it it's threatening enough that their children are at stake then I believe whole heartedly that they will stop at nothing to fix this so they can see their girls again." He moved to pull Amy into a hug, his hand squeezing her arm in reassurance.

"I just, I don't want them to have to wait around, not knowing when their parents will return."

"But we don't want them to follow the same fate as Melody did." Amy hummed softly. He had a point. There were worse situations than that of sitting around and waiting. Besides, they had The Girl Who Waited and The Last Centurion to keep them company.

Eilian and Margaret Song were only in the care of their grandparents for a matter of weeks before the sounds of electricity sparking woke Rory in the middle of the night. Padding down the hallway to the guest bedroom he found his daughter cradling her infant and humming to her softly while she slept.

"We were starting to think you were never coming back." He mused in the doorway smiling sleepily as River greeted him with a jump and thankful smile. He had never seen his daughter skittish before and it rather frightened her father. But he knew, he knew what it was like to have children and to be scared of those things that lurked around the corner. She let her guard down to embrace the comfort of her children and he had startled her in that moment was all.

"For a moment there I thought I wouldn't." She smiled sadly as she kissed the top of Margo's head before laying her back in the cradle Rory had set up for her. River embraced her father in a tight hug. "It's been too long, dad. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you and mum about them." Rory shook his head as they moved out into the lighted hall.

"River. You're a time traveller. You have to keep secrets sometimes. We understand." She hugged him again, harder.

"I would have come back earlier too, but this was the closest I could get. I hope they weren't trouble." He shook his head again.

"Nah, absolute dream." He smiled fondly. Beneath the chaos of three children under five it really was a joy having Eilian and Margo in their small home for those short weeks. He knew he would miss them once River took them home. "Is everything okay?" He asked, eyes tracing the outlines of her face with worry.

River nodded as she swatted her hand in his direction. "Minor mishap with some world dominating Cybermen that had teamed up with …" Rory lost her for a second as she spoke. He was ten years out of the game with the Doctor. He was no longer a companion and the words, the space junk and terms fell on deaf ears momentarily. "Earthly destruction but honestly, we sorted it out. Everything is as it should be and no one will be none the wiser." She looked so pleased with herself when she finished speaking. It was another day gone by, another heroic mission for the diary. Something to tell the kids.

"River?" He stopped her pleasant grin with worried words. "Is Eilian okay? Do you check up on her?" She cocked an eye brow much like her little daughter did as she bit the inside of her cheek and contemplated him. "I mean, she has a lot on her plate. Most kids don't have to deal with that. Do you talk to her about it?" River nodded her head. Of course she did. Eilian understood. She always did. She was good girl.

"Why?"

"I think she carries the weight of the whole universe on her shoulders. She thinks she's trapped, like a lion at the Zoo or I guess you could say a bird in a cage. It worried me is all, she is a very bright young girl. I felt that maybe she doesn't think other people understand her. Of course, it could just be a phase." His tone changed as he watched his daughter become slightly distressed at the thought of her daughter in this predicament. "She told me that people in Leadworth just think she's telling stories, making it all up. It frustrates her. I know when Amy and I were travelling with the Doctor I felt that sometimes I could only be sane after talking to Amy about what had happened. Eilian doesn't have that. Sure, when Margo gets old she will but they've both grown up in that world. It's normal to them but not everyone else."

"I try to talk her though it, but I assure you we haven't exposed her to what the Doctor would expose an adult to. She's protected and supervised."

Rory nodded, aware that he was bringing out insecurities in his daughters parenting. He hadn't intended to he just worried about the little girl he bonded with. She enjoyed telling him about the Doctor and space without being judged. She transformed completely although he couldn't tell whether that was due to comfort or getting everything off her chest. "Tea?" He asked knowing that Amy wouldn't be up for another hour or two along with the children and that it was probably best if River stayed long enough to show her face to her mother and collect her children while they were awake.

She nodded softly with a small thanks as she followed him to the kitchen listening to something he was saying about Eilian and balloons.

* * *

_I just have to stop there because it would probably keep going on forever and I messed it up a few hundred words ago and I don't know how to fix it so I'll post it and deal with your hate._

_I also have to thank my dear Ellie, who gave me ideas that I think I briefly touched on – and that is very rude I am so sorry, my dear. – and well, she's just an all 'round champ whose stuck around for 18 months._

_- Annaliese_


	16. Where Nothing Breaks and Nothing Hurts

Where Nothing Breaks and Nothing Hurts

The Doctor drops in on River Song in the Library data core.

Eilian – 6 years old

Margaret – 2 years old

- Title from Pink's 'Beam Me Up' -

* * *

Some would call it being ungrateful, others; grief towards not having another choice. And that was truth. She had made her own decision but there were repercussions made on the behalf of an impossible idiot who really was none the wiser towards the things she would yearn for whilst locked in an inescapable eternity.

The Doctor's tenth reincarnation was not to know that River Song had borne two daughters and that in sacrificing herself she was letting them live even though their mother was dead. But this, what he had done, this was allowing all of them to live while River tortured herself with thoughts of her daughters that were now a forbidden sight and should be, thought.

Most days, some of them anyway, she managed to push through but some days were questionable. She indulged herself with Ella and Josh, those moments more brief than they were long. She would camp out in her comfortably sized little house, refusing to talk to even the most persistent of knockers. River had been known to ignore CAL and Doctor Moon on some occasions to, but the two of them were of the highest authority and when they sought her company she had no other choice than to comply.

It was one of those days were she stuck around in pyjamas avoiding the door knockers looking for a picnic lunch or tea. She wasn't in the mood for plastered smile and pleasantries and they really weren't to expect it from her.

It wasn't that she was ungrateful for her eternity in the data core, locked away while the Vastra Nervada stalked the halls, their personally forest theirs once more. She really was glad that she was alive, she just wished he hadn't been so selfish to let her be so. Essentially he left her like a new book on a shelf, something to be ignored for years to come until he knew more about her and whence that happened, she would be a much loved book put back on its shelf until he was ready to relive it.

He was never ready and she knew that. He hated endings. She could understand, he lost so much and sometimes the chances were far too great. He saved her before he even knew her, like some part of the Doctor knew that he would not be able to cope with another death, especially _hers_.

River sat in the middle of a relatively large room. A moderate kitchen was at her left, to her right a makeshift sitting room even though there was another one across the hall. The dining table she sat at had been used on a few occasions but not for the children's parties like she had thrown for Eilian and Margo or the Christmas dinners she threw on an odd occasion. No, this table held small gatherings, tea and a biscuit small moments of reminiscing but nothing more than that. A tea cup sat in front of her cooling and untouched. She had made it with the purpose of giving herself something to do she had no intention to drink the thing. The table under her hands, although seemingly brand new held bumps and grooves of an official nature, sometimes she had an urge to cut at the table herself, make an indent that held a memory but it wouldn't compare to her table at home; to Eilian's teeth marks and Margo's clumsiness with a knife. Artificial life wasn't the same once you knew what was on the other side.

She heaved a heavy sigh as her fingers traced the table's surface her mind in a far off place as she stared at the wall the smell of tea soothing her mind. Lost in her mind, trapped by her own sweet memories River Song didn't hear the front door click open or footsteps trace the hall. Snapping from her daydream she pushed herself out of the dinning chair, teacup in hand. River had intended to pour the cold tea down the drain and attempt to drink another one if she made it, but the woman was stopped short as the door to the hallway was pushed open to reveal a very familiar gangly man. The tweed and bowtie wasn't the only thing that caught her off guard it was the toddler on his hip and short, curly blonde haired little girl by his side. The cup in her hand fell from her grip as she stared at the three in front of her. She stopped breathing as the cup fell, her hands still clasped as though she was holding it while she refused to blink. River couldn't move, she wouldn't, she could not allow herself to do anything that would compromise the reality of what was before her.

Eilian flew into her mother's arms just as the cup hit the floor shattering porcelain against her legs and splattering tea on her shoes. Neither girl nor mother cared about the mess as River finally relaxed and squeezed her daughter in a bone crushing hug. Her daughter's name in Gallifreyan was pressed against her messy hair as River refused to let her go. The last time she had seen Eilian and Margaret had been the day she left for The Library, they had been eighteen and fourteen at the time but this Eilian she was so little and pure, Margaret too, the little girl barely out of her infancy and her sister only four years older.

The Doctor moved around them, Margaret placed in the living area while he tried his best to pick up porcelain and mop up cold tea without disrupting his wife and daughter.

Eilian pulled away from her mother after a few minutes, unsure as to why the woman was so clingy towards her little self. Letting her daughter move towards her baby sister River grabbed the Doctor by the wrist and pulled him towards her. Her kiss was full of silent thank you's, words she couldn't piece together herself but could show him exactly. "How?" She whispered against his lips not wanting to pull away from him either.

"The girls?" He asked softly, his forehead dropping to hers. "Their diaries. I never understood why you insisted on writing everything down for them. But, you were right. It came in handy. I rewrote them, their diaries are sitting beside yours have been since my Tenth self walked away. They don't know any different." He told her as she collapsed against his chest. Their lives wouldn't be changed by this, Eilian and Margaret, the little girls playing behind her – they were hers to raise again and their normal lives outside the data core would not be affected at all. "I'll add to their diaries when I can, but there are only so many times I can be in the same place." River nodded again, she knew the rules.

She squeezed him tightly once more, "And you?" Visibly he paled, that was something he thought he could escape answering but River wasn't about ready to let it go. He shook his head softly. "You're leaving." Her tone dropped from hopeful to complete devastation. He always left. River was starting to think that she was the one who should hate endings and not he.

The Doctor reached for his wife as she took a step back from him. "River," He sighed. "You know … I …" He stumbled over his words like he stumbled over his limbs. Margo's head popped up over the top of the sofa, Eilian beside her watching the adults cautiously. Nothing was ever as it seems with her parents.

River attended to the baby girl she had been yet to squeeze while the Doctor followed closely behind her. Margo shrieked as River held her arms out, she copied her mother's movement as she pulled her pacifier out of her mouth with an audible pop. Pulling her up and over the back of the couch River held her youngest daughter over her head and pressed her noise to that of the smaller girls'. Margo's hands were on her cheeks as the girl shrieked, her little legs kicking in the air. River didn't comment that Margaret still had the Lichtenburg figure mark down her neck and some part of her wasn't complaining. Her daughter's scar made her whole.

"River, I just, I just haven't figured it out yet." She ignored him for a moment as she held her daughter tightly, comforted by her cuddly warm little being.

She pressed a kiss to Margo's forehead as she smoothed back her thick dark hair. "But you made it work for them." He nodded, his hand in his own hair as he watched his wife unknowingly rock her hips as she teased Margo with her pacifier.

River heard his hands fall against the side of his pants as he exhaled a breath of air in frustration. "I'm being selfish. Okay? I want to know, I want to remember the days I spend with my wife. I don't want to know that a mirror image of myself gets to be with her and I don't know what's happening." She tore her eyes away from the toddler to look at her sorrowful husband. Her heart broke as he looked at her with puppy dog eyes. River sighed softly, he won this one. He could get away with it because he brought her something as a compromise.

Knowing that is was safe to approach The Doctor stepped towards his wife and wrapped both her and Margo in his arms silently. They weren't really people to speak of their feels or show them much silent moments like this came as everyone was going to bed or on rare occasions. He knew she needed it, consolation that everything would be fine. He brought her their daughters and if she couldn't have him at least there would be two parts of him there.

"Why are you hugging?" Eilian asked, her hands on the back of the sofa as she peered at her family. Leaning against her husband's chest, Margo clinging around her neck, River let out a soft hum. The Doctor took his hand off Margo's back and held it out for Eilian who slowly approached, she was hoisted up onto his hip as soon as she gripped his hand and giggled alongside her sister.

"River!" Anita's voice called through the house as her footfalls bounded down the hallway. "There's a …" She stopped finding the family huddled together in the multifunctional room that ran along one side of the house. "How?" She asked looking at the four of them in shock.

River's face lit up, brighter than they had seen her do in days. "Spoilers." She whispered with her spirit put back in place.


	17. So When I Need You Can I Send You A Sign

So When I Need You Can I Send You A Sign

I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights

I'll pick a star and watch you shine

Both Eilian and River have a relatively normal night but something is missing and River has to tell her husband something. Her daughter becomes the excuse to call him.

.

Eilian – 4 years old

.

It had turned into one of those days. The sun was shining, Eilian was happy and she hadn't emptied the contents of her stomach into a toilet at any point. But regardless of the plus side of her day, a storm cloud loomed over her head as she unlocked the front door and let Eilian teeter in still babbling about what she had done that day. The house, was as she had grown accustomed to; smallish for the average family but too big for just herself and Eilian. The third, unused bedroom called out hauntingly as she passed it. It's unused state mocked her for a few years but now, her hand fondly over her abdomen River realized it would no longer be able to do so.

The room wasn't the only thing that taunted her, there was an air about the place and emptiness beyond the spare bedroom. She knew what it was, what was missing but she didn't like to dwell on it too much. It was something she couldn't have, for a long period of time anyway and there was no use in wishing upon it.

Thunder clapped as she closed the front door behind her. The storm cloud above her head came to life in that night's sky as the earth drew dark with sleep at the planets rotation. Eilian on wobbly feet in front of her jumped as lighting struck again igniting the night sky and filling the room with light. Soldiering on as Eilian always tried to do the little girl moved further into the house in order to push the paintings she and Tabetha Pond had done that day onto the kitchen bench. River waited for her by the stairs with a patient smile.

River knew it was going to be an easy night as she watched Eilian's feet drag on the stairs and down the hallway. The little girl was placid as her mother got her ready for bed and tucked her in with a loving kiss to the head. There was no request for a bedtime story or last minute tale of her day, there was no hyper resistance to closing her eyes or insistence that every one of her stuffed animals needed a kiss goodnight. The girl was fast asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. It was nights like this River wished for after a long day. But tonight it seemed as though it was only going longer now that her daughter's light was out.

It wasn't for another hour, the thunder still rolling outside that River heard the house creak. Eilian's footsteps on the floorboards were clear to her mother's tired ears. Putting her book down River shifted under the covers slightly as her four-year-old daughter cautiously pushed open the bedroom door and padded in. The petite child climbed onto her mother's bed without assistance or permission, tears streaked her little cheeks as she fought her minds decision to sit in front of her mother or curl into her waiting arms. The latter won out as the girl sank herself into her mother's warm hug her little body hiccupping.

Whispering soft words into Eilian's ear, River stroked the soft blonde curls of her daughter's hair in an attempt to keep it off her face and out of her tears. Soothingly she hummed content to let Eilian calm down before she broached the topic concerning the cause of her tears. When Eilian attempted to pull herself closer River knew that she was crossing the line of her daughter falling asleep but not being ready to talk. She needed to do this in her own time, her mother could not push her.

Thunder cracked again lighting the room through the partially open curtains with hauntingly bright light. Eilian's body went rigid against her mother. "I want daddy." She sobbed shakily, wet tears seeping through River's shirt. At her daughter's second bout of tears River felt the urge to join her little daughter. As splendid as the day had been, it had also been one of those days where she just wanted her husband. The storms frightened the little girl and although River had since grown out of childish fears she was scared of the future now and the addition of a second little life she had a day prior found out about. She needed to curl against his body, like Eilian was wrapped around hers, and cry solidly until she felt better. There was another fear that came with wanting that scenario. She could wish for her husband but that did not mean she would be met with the right version of him. She never was. The least she could do was hope that he knew of Eilian's part in their lives. "Please." Eilian wailed as the wind howled.

Sighing softly into her daughter's hair River tapped the girls leg as she told her to get up. Pulling herself out of bed and gripping Eilian to her hip River padded them both down stairs. She chastised herself for the thought, it was silly really, but she had a feeling it would work. Stoping in the kitchen she pulled a candle and some matches out of a drawer before heading for the conservatory.

It was chilly in the window-walled room, the tiles freezing her bare feet and the only light was supplied by the moon that managed to sneak past storm clouds. The storm raged on, the lightning still struck and Eilian was more afraid in there than she had been alone in her bedroom. Eilian had been lowered to one of the wicker chairs, the candle on the small glass table. The little girl watched with large eyes as her mother took a moment to breathe heavily. Squeezing into the chair next to Eilian, causing the little girl to climb onto her lap River mentally crossed her fingers in hope that this would actually help.

The man always came when his little girl needed him. Sometimes he just needed a little extra prodding. But she feared, for the girl's sake, that he would not show at all and she would look a fool.

Striking the match River kissed Eilian's temple lightly, one last hope for the little girl and her mother who needed to see _their_ Doctor. A draught that snuck under the conservatory door made the candle flicker as lighting illuminated their space. "Close your eyes." She whispered into her daughter's ear. "Close them really, _really_ tight and then wish for daddy." The girl did as she was told while her mother lit the candle causing the wick to burst with sudden life.

Eilian had her eyes squeezed shut, her nose crinkled with the effort as she whispered a soft mantra; "…_Daddy come home, daddy come home…'_. The little girl cracked one eye open, her nose still scrunched as she looked around the room. Nothing. Lighting flashed again as if mocking the emptiness of the room. Rubbing it in that little bit further that no one else was there.

"It's okay, sweetheart." River spoke trying to keep her voice cheerful instead of disappointed as she rubbed Eilian's slumped arms. "Do you see those stars out there?" She asked pointing to the clearing in the thick clouds. A small amount of stars had gathered there, twinkling like pretty gems tempting the girl with their allure. "Daddy is one of those stars and sometimes, just sometimes he can't be here but we can see him up there."

Eilian turned on her mother's lap, her little brow creased with confusion. "But I can only see the stars at night. What if he doesn't come at day time and I can't see him?" River laughed softly as she mentally decided to leave the candle burning for a little while longer.

"The stars are always up their Eilian. Always. You just have to look really hard." The girl didn't push the answer as her little body slumped further against her mother's chest. Sleep invading her mind quickly. "C'mon" River mumbled as she moved to stand "you need to get back to bed." The girl shook her head sleepily, little fist rubbing at her eyes as she refused to put her feet on the ground.

River let the girl sit on her legs on the cold floor. She wasn't carrying the child back up the flight of stairs. In all honestly, she had to stop carrying the girl all together. Eilian rubbed her eyes a little harder, causing the skin to softly turn pink. "I want to wait for daddy." She mumbled sleepily.

"You should listen to your mother, poppet." At the sound of his strong voice both Eilian and River spun around their faces lit by pure joy. The Doctor stood, how he always did when he tricked them brilliantly, cockily. A wide grin was plastered to his features as he lent against the outside conservatory door his arms crossed over his chest.

"You turned the brakes off." River gasped as she spotted the most brilliant shade of blue in her backyard. She hadn't heard him arrive and definitely did not see him when they crept down to the conservatory. The man nodded as he tossed her a wink. She was grateful that he had done so for if Eilian had been sleeping she would now be awake and down the stairs. It was too late anyway, the girl was already up and now properly wrapped in his arms.

He squeezed his little girl as she squeezed him back with all her might her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. There was nothing better than being hugged by his daughter. Her soft and smooth little body radiated warmth even on the coldest of days and there was something so pure, so brilliant and impressionable, something unlike he had ever seen that drew him to her further.

He took a step towards his wife, her face reserved as she watched him with the little girl who had turned into his own personal Koala bear. She honestly believed that he could let go of his grip and Eilian would stay tied around him her arms and legs were gripping on that tight. "Honey, I'm home." He whispered with a mischievous grin.

"And what sort of time do you call this?" She asked back cheekily as she stepped into his open arm her own wrapping around his waist as the other found purchase against Eilian's back. She buried her face into his neck taking a moment to breathe him in. Her eyes fluttered against his skin reminding the man that it was late and his wife and child should be tucked into bed and fast asleep.

"Traffic was hell." He whispered into her curls before planning a soft kiss there. "How about I go put the poppet into bed and then you can tell me what's wrong." She pulled back, agreeing to their daughter's bedtime but shying away from the fact that he already knew she was worried about something.

Upstairs, Eilian struggled with his hands as he tried to pry her off him. She protested loudly at the detachment, new tears blotching her cheeks. She was scared that he was going to leave again and she after all had been the one that verbalized the want to see him. "I'll stay all night and tomorrow we can have an adventure. Yeah?" Her little eyes grew wide, his own emerald green staring back at him with a brilliant form of childish hope. "But you need to go to sleep first." She nodded softly against her pillow, accepting his kiss to her cheek and tight tucking in before she left her eyes close.

River was right behind him when he backed out of the room. She didn't speak at all as he followed her to her – _their_ – room. Turning on the spot she cupped his face between her hands, words didn't need to be spoken as she soaked him in unsure as to when she would see him next and what he would look like. "River, what's wrong?" He whispered after a long silence. It was chewing him up, she never called for him. Not since Eilian was born. He always turned up when he was needed but this time, this time she went looking for him.

She shook her head. "It's nothing really, Eli had a big day she got upset – asked for you." It wasn't enough of an answer for her husband and River Song knew that but she had hoped that it would stall him in some sense. It worked for a little bit. "Seriously, Sweetie. I'm fine." He didn't speak, instead he sat down on her bed, her legs between his knees as he looked up at her, begging without the words that she would just tell him everything was okay, truthfully. He had known her too long to know when she was lying.

River scrubbed a hand roughly over her face frustration winning out. She sighed softly on a deep exhale as she looked down at the man she adored. The man she killed. The man she loved. He was the father of her child and the crush of her childhood. She could not keep him out of anything even if she tried. He always wormed his way back into her life and heart. "I think I'm pregnant." His lazy smile straightened as his face paled. Her reaction to his was a little similar as her stomach turned.

She thought he was upset.

But she was wrong.

The Doctor collected himself from his fear his eyes sparkling as his grin grew too big for his face and he stood to spin her around. "A baby, River. Another baby!" She was surprized that he wasn't jumping up and down now, as her stomach settled and he hoisted her up off her feet. River couldn't help but laugh at his excitement once he put her back down on her own two feet. "A baby." He whispered this time, taken aback by the reality of it.

He was scared again, briefly. Fear seeped into his mind as a reminded came to call that River had been in grave danger when she was pregnant with Eilian there had been complications of every sort and now they faced the possibility of it happening again.

His mind wandered briefly to the children he had scared with his first wife on Gallifrey, how they had grown and lived how they each had children of their own but would never get to know the new siblings they now had and how his and River's children – their _daughters_ he reminded himself of a time long ago when he had turned up at this address and rocked the little baby girl to sleep while her big sister had called him 'daddy' for the first time in a millennia. These two girls would never live like children lived on Gallifrey. He mourned silently for their misused lives. He would have to be wholly responsible for teaching them everything about the TARDIS but not granting them one for themselves.

"Wow. River." He sighed almost dreamily. "She's going to be beautiful." He whispered thinking his wife would not have heard. But she did,

"Spoilers." River whispered back with a cheeky grin as lighting flashed outside the window behind her. "So is it true, you're going to stay the whole night?" The Doctor nodded, a grin creeping at the corner of his mouth as he pulled his wife in closer.

"Only if you say please."


	18. Big Rules for a Little Girl

Big Rules for a Little Girl

In which Eilian has rules concerning her father and dislikes the little girl with a normal life who lives down the street.

Eilian – Five years old

Margo – 12 months

* * *

She hated the TARDIS, she just _hated _it.

There was nothing to like remotely. It was all square and the bluest blue she had ever seen. But it didn't fascinate her like it should have, it disgusted her, it made her sick to the stomach and brought burning tears to her eyes.

Why would a machine such as the one her father cherished take the man away from his beloved family? Why was it that some nights she would hear the screech of breaks and know that her father was gone? In her opinion Eilian had hardly lived as long as so many seemed to think especially her father's TARDIS. Sometimes her father wouldn't come back for _days,_ for a child such as herself she was not willing to wait days to see him again. She could barely figure out minutes let alone days.

There were rules. Strict rules. Not to speak, not to say her name or tell him who she was. She was permitted to fetch her mother but with no title other than 'River' until she was completely sure that the man _knew _who she was.

Constantly she had to be on guard and to the five-year-old that simply wasn't fair.

He was supposed to play with her, colour and create. She wasn't supposed to lie to him.

As far as she understood it, daddies were supposed to be simple. Mary's daddy picked her up from day care and took her to the park; he bought her ice cream and teddies. He gave her hugs and kisses and threw her up in the air.

Eilian's daddy didn't do that; well he didn't do all of those things. She got hugs and kisses and things from planets she couldn't even pronounce. But her grandma was the one who picked her up from day care and took her to the flower market. Her mum took her to the park on weekends and coloured with her after dinner. Her daddy told her stories of faraway stars and aliens in need of saving. He told her of _the Girl Who Waited, the Last Centurion_ and _the Woman Who Married the Doctor_,but Eli couldn't share these stories. She couldn't tell of her adventures in markets that traded things rather than money or watching stars explode while she ate lunch.

No one believed her.

Everyone believed Mary.

She made things up but Mary told the truth. Eilian was creative and Mary was a realist. She hated Mary and would have liked it if she wasn't friends with the girl anymore but her mother insisted on her playing in the park on their street and that was where Mary played.

"Let's go back to my dad." Mary offered as the two of them had stopped beside the swing set.

Eli toed the bark at her feet as she shook her head, her hands shoved in the pockets of her dress. "Nah," Eilian shrugged, her head still shaking letting blonde curls shift around her face. Her eyes darted to her mother for a second, sitting on a park bench away from the other parents a book balancing on her lap. "You'll just whine and I won far 'n' square." Mary huffed beside her. Honestly, the two girls got along. Their parents put it down to the both of them being hot headed enough to balance the other out.

"Who is that with your mum?" Mary pointed past Eilian as they climbed onto the swings. Her head snapped to where her mother had been sitting, she was standing now pure glee on her face as a man stood in front of her, back bent and hands fluttering about the pram next to her. Eilian knew who it was straight away, there was no need for doubt that the man was her father and clearly a younger one who had not known of Margaret's birth or perhaps her own. There was procedure to follow; stay away until her mother deemed it fine to approach, on days where it wasn't she was instructed to walk down the street to the Williams' house. So far in her young life it was only a precaution, she hadn't needed it thus far and when her mother pointed in her direction it felt as though another weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

"That's my daddy!" She beamed as the man crouched where he was standing and held his arms out for her.

Eilian was already running by the time Mary had put her hands on her hips shouting after her "You are a liar Eilian Song, you don't have a daddy!" The other girl either didn't hear her or simply didn't care. Her father came to call when he could and her mother told her that since her being in their lives he tried that much harder to make the effort. That wasn't as settling to the five-year-old as her mother had originally hoped it would be.

It had hardly mattered now as she was encompassed in her father's arms, her little legs did their best to lock around his waist as her hands clasped behind his neck. No matter what was going to be said to her she wasn't letting go. But she had to. Time turns and Eilian was left to watch her father join in on the nightly routine, she could see how unsteady he was how uncomfortable life in the right order could be. But he was bracing it for them; teasing River in the kitchen while he begged to help prepare their meal, he took complete control towards tending to Margo's infant needs (when he could) and had Eilian tell him all about her day while they sat at the dinner table.

This was what life was supposed to be like and yet it felt unreal. There was a ticking in her blood and a hum in her mind, something inside her yearned to get out and in his actions she could see the same thing happening. She felt like a bird in a small cage, the window was only _so_ far away. But yet she was not the bird in trouble in this situation. She knew this cage and partially she loved it, he on the other hand was the bird caught in the building, he couldn't get out. But she had learnt to love it. Why couldn't he love it to? Why was he the one who was allowed to find his freedom while this world slowly continued to cage her in and kill every sense of hope she had ever had.

Why was he the one who left?

Eilian proceeded to eat her dinner quietly, she sat with her father while he read her a bedtime story and uncharacteristically moped 'goodnight', it wasn't long before she was up and out of bed she bypassed her mother's room on the other side of the hall, light shining underneath it telling Eilian that her mother was in there.

She crept down the stairs and into the dark garden where her father's TARDIS sat like a monument for everything that had been stolen from her. "Just so you know," She whispered shy of the ship as she lingered next to the garden bed on its right. "I don't like you." It wasn't necessarily true, she had once loved the wonder, but already, after five years she was sick of watching her father run off.

Her hands skirted over the bark in the garden bed, small pieces of nature's debris slid into her hand before she moved away from the garden. Eilian sat directly in front of the grand machine. Time travel, it was capable of jumping through space anywhere and everywhere and yet here it was sitting in her garden, waiting.

She threw a small rock at the front doors finding herself satisfied with the uninflected physical damage but the mental. She knew what she was doing but no one else did. She threw whatever she could reach from where she was sitting and when the girl was done with that she stared at the machine in front of her hoping that will alone would share with it her disgust.

Eilian heard his footsteps on the grass and then she head him stop. The man was still hesitant around her, like he didn't quite know how to behave or what boundaries were set in place. She pitied the man, well as much as a five year old could. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed, poppet?" He would know, he had been the one to tuck her in. Eilian shrugged, her back still straight as she continued to stare at the ship in front of her, letting it no psychically that she loathed it. "Eilian, you can't be sitting out in the yard in the middle of the night. Your mum thinks you are in bed."

"You're supposed to be in bed to." She crossed her arms over her chest tightly, refusing to budge.

The Doctor sighed, he had walked himself into this one but if this was a regular thing for her if something happened one night and River didn't know that Eilian was out here, no one would notice that the girl was harmed or taken until morning. He was worried about her, about what she got up to when River Song wasn't looking.

"You're leaving again," He nodded. "Why?" His response was simple, something that a child wouldn't usually buy but she listened before being upset. "It's not fair." Eilian offered weakly her shoulders slumping as he moved towards her, his hand skirting over her blonde curls. For a second he contemplated taking her with him, but he feared the repercussions he would have to face when he brought her back. He couldn't do that to River, he couldn't take their child without discussing it with her first. She would find them and kill him.

He looks down at his daughter sitting cross legged on the grass wearing blue footed pyjamas and a scornful look. He crouched down to be at her level as he pushed his hand under her chin to force her to look away from the TARDIS behind him. "Eli," He began his voice soft as he demanded her attention "I cannot be here every second of everyday but that doesn't mean I'm not here and not wishing that I was here."

She crossed her arms again as she pushed out her bottom lip, "Then be here, daddy." When he told her it wasn't that easy, Eilian's eyebrows knitted and her bottom lip began to quiver. "I don't understand."

"You know," He stopped, took a breath and continued "you know I'm not like Mary's dad. I have adventures, up there." He pointed to the stars above them, not as bright as they should be. "You need me here, yes?" She nodded vigorously. "But you see, you have mum to look after you and there are people out there, entire species that don't have mum to look after them. That's my job and in doing that I make _you_ safe. Does that make sense?" She nodded even though she still didn't understand. "I will come whenever you need me Eilian, okay?" She nodded again, her eyes clouding as her mind contemplated latching onto his leg and never letting go.

She started to speak but a lump in her throat stoped her. Taking a breath the little girl tried again "but," it was too late, sobs rolled out of her throat as tears fell down her cheeks "I need you now." She hiccupped as he pulled her into his warm arms.

The Doctor put her flimsy body back down on the ground assuring the girl that she didn't need him even though it felt like she needed him. Spotting River standing in the doorway to the conservatory he kissed his daughters blonde curls and bid her farewell.

The Doctor left her sitting in the moonlight watching as the TARDIS dematerialized and took him away. "C'mon." Eilian heard her mother in her ear as she was lifted off the ground and carried inside. Her tears were still falling.

River carried the girl inside and up the stairs, she took a minute to check on the sleeping baby before she carried her daughter into her bedroom and placed her on the bed. It was rare for Eilian to seek the comfort of sleeping in her mother's bed and River wasn't one to encourage that comfort but her daughter's distress on this night was heartbreaking enough that she didn't even think about it. River let Eilian curl herself around her body as she cried.

It was hard knowing of the things that were out there, the endless possibilities and opportunities. It was hard knowing that she wouldn't know what version of her father she would face when she heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS brakes. She had so many rules for such a little girl, that it made it hard to breathe. She had had an unsettling couple of weeks and now River Song was left to listen to it all pour out.


End file.
